Baby highs and lows
MOST moms will tell you that the first few moments after giving birth were the best moments of their lives. For other mothers, though, the trauma of childbirth and fear of the unknown can take such a toll on them, so much so that the anticipated feelings of overwhelming joy and happiness are replaced by the blues.
We asked women to share the spectrum of feelings they experienced following the birth of their children.
Tiffany, 39, life coach:
For most of my pregnancy I was excited. My baby was a miracle and all that was left for me to do after all the excitement of making things perfect was getting her here safely. But when she finally arrived, I felt numb. The birth experience was painful. I felt absolutely nothing for my baby — she was just another baby that I hugged and cradled. I cried for days, all under the guise that they were tears of joy.
Georgette, 43, teacher:
It was even better than everyone else described. The feeling was definitely none like I had experienced before. With each of my children the feeling was different, but equally beautiful. Motherhood and everything else that came with it — even the challenges of the nine months that led to each experience — was worth it. I will admit that I felt baby blues — being tired and cranky and so forth — but nothing of great magnitude. I recovered from those feelings quickly.
Valerie, 46, grocer:
I have two children who are both adults, but I can remember the experience with both and the emotional frame of mind was definitely not the same. With my first child, because the events of his conception were unfortunate, the pregnancy and birth were difficult. It wasn’t until a few months in that I found a special love for him, as he was so perfect he wouldn’t allow me to stay bitter. My second child, a girl, completed our unit. When she was born the feeling was so unimaginable, I was converted. That was love at first sight. I actually finally knew what it meant, as I had experienced it. But while the birth experiences were different, now I can say without any doubt that I love both my children equally and they know this.
Kelsey, 29, nurse:
I had heard about things like postpartum depression and all of that, but I just never thought I would be affected. After all, it was my job to help support those who did. My baby was born at 2:53 am, two days before my birthday, and it was supposed to be the perfect birthday gift that God delivered early. But never in my life did I feel more inadequate! How was I going to take care of this precious human? Why did she come now to disrupt my life? I questioned myself. I was scared to touch her, changed my mind about breastfeeding her, and basically shoved all maternal responsibilities unto my mother, while still watching the baby like a hawk. My friends and a few doctor friends realised what was happening and got me the best help. It took about eight weeks for me to feel normal, and when it finally happened, I never wanted to be away from her ever again. The bliss of motherhood came later for me, but it was not any less magical — if you ask me, it was even more magical.
Shedeen, 22, call centre agent: When I had my child, he changed my life for the better. It was in the moments after he was born that I knew that I couldn’t be average. I couldn’t do the minimum because his eyes told me stories of love, big dreams and desire. He made me so happy for having him even though my life was not together, and he continues to be my biggest motivation and cheerleader at just one-year-old.
Michelle, 36:
I had the most miserable pregnancy and labour. When the twins were born, I didn’t feel any attachment to them. I loved them, but not like I thought I would. It was just a regular feeling to be honest, but nobody noticed. They were too caught up with appreciating the miracle that I couldn’t truly appreciate. They were in awe of their beauty and couldn’t get enough of my double blessing. Nobody bothered to ask about me or check if I was okay. I kept losing myself to horrible thoughts and nightmares that no mother wants to have. When I started my research I saw that I wasn’t alone and I reached out to some people and later my midwife who got help for me. To this day my family still has no idea the battles that I fought after giving birth
