Parent experts school first-timers
THERE’S no manual for parenting; no matter how much advice we’re given, or how much we read, every child will be different and every new parent’s experience with parenting will be unique. Much of the time it’s the kind of job that we learn as we go along, and hope that at the end, our children will turn out great, or at least survive our experimenting.
Many first-time parents look to Internet forums and parenting websites to guide them through especially the tumultuous first years. Others look to friends and family for guidance — these people, especially parents of multiples, who would have done the parenting dance time and again. What would they share with soon-to-be first-time parents?
Debra, mom of three:
I’d say, don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t spend too much on frivolous stuff, and know that your baby isn’t as fragile as you think. By baby number two it was less about name brand for us, and more about practicality with most baby items. But there are some things that you have to buy name brand for — like diapers. Don’t be a miser with that, just invest in the expensive brand because they hold in stuff better. Otherwise, the baby is perfectly fine sitting on the floor to eat as you won’t need a high chair; you’ll be perfectly OK taking the baby to the clinic for shots instead of to the paediatrician; and many times a quick Google search will ease your fears, and make you see that all your worrying is for naught.
Saniesha, mom of two:
Have your child at the public hospital, and save the money towards their college. I made the mistake and went private with the first baby, and by my second child, I saw the error of my ways. I paid almost half a million dollars for an experience that I could have replicated at a hotel, and with money that could have gone towards baby items.
Julie-Ann, mom of five:
DO NOT visit the doctor for every little sniffle. One time I spent $27,000 at the doctor because my daughter’s nose was clogged, only for her to prescribe saline drops, which I could make at home. Most things the baby needs — for gas, stuffy nose, colic, or whatever — are available in your home, or over the counter at the pharmacy. Join mommy forums on BabyCentre and when the baby is stuffy, just do what your grandmother did and use your mouth as a suction to unclog it.
Ashura, mom of two:
Take the drugs! I don’t like taking medication as I prefer to find natural ways to heal. So when I had a C-section, I refused the Voltaren injection initially. But when the pain lick me, I begged the nurse for relief. There are certain things that you need drugs for — and C-section pain is one of them. So take the drugs for as long as you need it, and don’t feel like a failure because you have to.
Antonia, mom of three:
It’s OK to need a break, and many times you won’t like your baby, especially when you’re dying to sleep and the baby is screaming. If the baby has been changed and fed and is not in pain, put the baby in the bouncer in a room and walk away, and get the me-time that you need. There’s no point in both of you being angry and frustrated.
Brianna, mom of two:
Don’t let anyone force you into their ideal parenting methods, whether it’s about breastfeeding, choice of daycare, choice of clothes or choice of toys. Parent the way you want to, formula feed if you want to, and do for your child what’s best for your family.
Nickoy, mom of six:
The cheap stuff works just as well as the expensive stuff, most times. Check the ingredients on the cheaper and expensive formula and wipes, and you’ll see they’re just the same. Get off brand clothing and toys — they do the exact same thing as the brands. The only thing not to go cheap on is diapers — and even then, you can use different cheaper brands until you find what works to your satisfaction.
