Rejection: A dish served ice cold

IF many of us had a choice, getting rejected would be an experience we’d opt out of, as most times it leaves in its trail a broken heart. The person who is rejected will feel angry or sad, they may feel flawed and not good enough — it’s one of the most painful experiences.

Yet the person dishing out the rejection is often not aware of how much their words or actions hurt, as in rejecting someone they have no interest in, they see it as getting rid of a mere irritant. What’s the meanest way you’ve rejected someone, and how do you feel about it now?

Lennox L:

I met in a serious accident and was recovering when this girl sent me some long paragraphs about how much she liked me, how she had liked me for years, and how she wanted to be my night nurse. I thought it was just so inappropriate at the time, so I just said ‘K’, and blocked her. I was going to send her a better message, but I just couldn’t bother. There’s a time and place for everything and I don’t feel bad about it.

Sherice C:

This was years ago when people wrote letters, and a guy who liked me sent me a love letter in the post. I don’t even remember what annoyed me about him, but I saw the letter as more of an annoyance than anything romantic. My friends encouraged me to burn the letter, put the burnt pieces in an envelope, and mail it back to him, and that is what I did. I feel deep shame for my actions to this day, because I can just imagine how he reacted when he opened the envelope.

Richard K:

I had just got married and posted my wedding pictures to Facebook. A woman I briefly dated years before, messaged me and said I was her soulmate, and that it’s she and I who were supposed to get married. I told her she could continue dreaming, and she needed to work on her personal hygiene before approaching other men. I didn’t feel bad.

Samoya B:

My sister had a guy friend who would run errands for her and such — he basically makes a living being a gofer, doing errands here and there for people. He’d do anything for us, and I must admit that sometimes I asked him to do chores or tasks I found beneath me, and he’d never say no. One day, after returning from the market with some supplies he’d bought for me, he confessed to me that he had liked me for a long time. I laughed, and if that wasn’t enough, I asked him how he was so forward, so brazen, to imagine that someone like me would be with someone like him. And even worse, I told him to look in the mirror, and imagine what out kids would look like. He laughed it off, but years later he told me how he had gone home and cried, and how he found it difficult to approach women after I had treated him that way.

Shannique M:

I was in love with this guy, but he had a girlfriend and would only see me on the side. So I decided to date other people, but to be honest, my heart was just not in it. I went on a date with another man who liked me, he took me out to eat, then we went for a walk on the beach — he was the perfect gentleman. But when he walked me to my door that evening, I saw that my light was on, which means that the man I loved was at my house. My date asked who was inside, I told him none of his business, and told him to leave. He hesitated, but at the same time my ‘boyfriend’ came to the door, shirtless, and stood there with his hands folded, until my date just sighed, told me to have a good night, and left.

Denise W:

I went on a date with this man who I wasn’t really feeling, but he was persistent and I have a hard time saying no to people. We drove to a restaurant out of town, and had a decent enough time, even though he had a heavy Bajan accent, and most times I couldn’t understand a word he was saying. On the way back we hit some traffic, and he kept yapping and yapping, then he brought the conversation to his disabled child, and how if we worked out I’d make a good stepmother. By the time I reached home I had a headache, and felt so pressured just thinking of spending more time with this man, who I couldn’t even understand, and worse, to take on the added burden of his child. The next time he called I told him that I had confession to make, that I was actually married, and was going to work it out with my husband. It was all a lie, but I did succeed in getting rid of him.