Men speak: Why we have work wives
MOST working men spend approximately a third of their day at their places of employment, and these environments often propagate an avalanche of physical and emotional stress, which can significantly impact work productivity. To avoid feeling like they are being swept away, every Derek needs a Penelope — a platonic bond with a female colleague marked by humour, support, loyalty, trust, respect and honesty — guaranteed to make the office space a lot more tolerable.
Unfortunately, even though most times there is nothing sinister about these relationships, men often find themselves having to defend their friendships against the accusations of their territorial wives or girlfriends. Here’s why some men say their work wives are lifesavers in their demanding workplace:
Michael, 40, Software Developer:
I don’t have one now, but I did. I had to sever ties with her when I got married because my wife felt threatened. I enjoyed the friendship of my work wife because she knew me inside out, she was kind, honest and a no-nonsense person. She would always tell me the truth, look out for me at work, she used to save a place on the bus before I started driving and when everything in the office would drive me crazy she was there to help me to see reason. Honestly, one of the best people to call a friend. Unfortunately, the friendship ended up dying because my friend felt that she was being treated like a side chick, she didn’t think how things turned out was fair to her and I agree. My wife got so paranoid about us that I even had to change my job.
Roger, 38, HR officer:
I never really thought of her as a ‘work wife’, just as a really good friend at work. But I guess she felt as if she was a work wife, indeed. It started out innocently enough. She was just very helpful around the office. She would run errands to other departments for me and buy me lunch when she was going on the road, that kind of thing. Then without me even noticing it, it got to a point where she was grooming my nails at work, buying me little gifts, and even calling me on my days off to check on me. Of course my wife started questioning it. Hell, I was questioning it too. When she told me that she loved me I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. I tried to let her down gently but she took it hard. She stopped talking to me completely, and within a few months moved on to a different company.
Ainsley, 35, lecturer:
Think about it reasonably, you spend most of your days at work, interacting with the same people in most times a very high stressed office space. Naturally, you are going to talk more with one person because you click with them more. Overtime you develop some amount of affection, a soft or whatever you would like to call it and even though some people do move on to sexual things — for me and most men, we just want a bonafide sistren who makes everything at work so much easier the time passes without us even noticing, we get things done without stressing too much. It is also nice just having someone who understands what work is like and can talk about that without it feeling like you are giving a report, as it does with other family members including the wife.
Gregory, 30, Training and development manager:
For me, my work spouse is my go-to person, the person that will help me to blow off some steam when things get tense at work, who will have lunch in the break room with me and gossip a little bit, who I share a lot of similar interests with because what would we talk about if we didn’t. So, a work spouse is really like a mental health strategy, but one that can talk back to you, whose support is tangible, whom you can rely on always, will be your eyes and ears and things like that. Oh, and wives need to stop being insecure about work wives because most times nothing will happen. If you stress men about it, though, you might make them want to confide a little more in the work wife, and maybe even eventually crossing the line with her, just to escape from the person who is nagging them around the clock.
