Are you fighting for love? More insights from Marvine and Zeelah
You have to fight for love . This week, with Valentine’s Day sentiments still in the air, we put the couple in the hot seat and ask them if they are fighting for their own marriage. Without hesitation Marvine remarks, “Of course! Everyday.”
LAST week we shared the beautiful love story of Marvine and Zeelah Davis –
“It is a consciousness, so you listen to the spirit of God, so that when you get bogged down you can overcome it,” continued Zeelah. The Christian couple further advises that their ability to love each other and overcome challenges is based on their faith in Christ.
“Reading the Word — it washes you, it refreshes you, it makes you alert to the things you would have otherwise been numb towards. Sometimes I would be consumed with the children and not Zeelah, but something in the Word reminds me that I need to pay attention to him,” Marvine reveals. “I will hear him [Zeelah] say something, and you wouldn’t think anything of it, but then the spirit alerts me to ask him about [it].”
Advice on infidelity
With so many years of experience working with couples, the Davises shared their perspective on recovery after infidelity. Can marriages really survive?
“Too many people believe that after infidelity there can’t be restoration. I don’t think that is true, but a lot of people believe it because of what society has taught us,” reasoned Marvine.
“Especially in Jamaica, ‘bun’ hot in Jamaica, nobody nuh waan get bun, and if your friend knows, you are the laughing stock and it’s just that pressure of society why people believe you can’t recover,” added Zeelah.
The two urged those suffering from the repercussions of infidelity to seek counselling. But they also insist that couples must first of all know what they want and stay focused on the relationship.
“You need to know what you want all the time, so if you lose focus in your marriage and something else is going on, you need to take stock of yourself,” advised Marvine. “I can’t fix Zeelah. Zeelah needs to assess himself and know if this is what he wants. And it is the same for me,” she continued.
“Every now and again I have to step back and assess where we are, where I am at. Am I doing the things that breed that love and togetherness? And in doing that, it [the process] usually speaks to me and then I change. I don’t wait for him to change, or force him to change,” she explained, noting that every marriage requires work.
For the Davises it is the work of holding hands, gazing into each other’s eyes, completing each other’s sentences, cooking meals together, apologising after arguments, praying together and reading the Word, all the while relying on God for strength and guidance. In the end, it appears that the Davises are equal to the task.
Are you? Are you fighting for it? Tell us how via e-mail to familyandfaithmagazine@gmail.com
Shelly-Ann Harris is author of God’s Woman, president & founder of Family and Faith Magazine and a media, communication, change management professional. Connect with her on Twitter @Harrisshellyann.
