Why I’ve been single for so long…
WHILE no one seems to care how long a man chooses to be a bachelor, many people automatically assume that if a woman is out of a relationship for too long, something must be wrong with her. The fear of winding up old and alone (or with cats) is enough to keep many women hopping from one toxic entanglement to the next, hoping that this will be the one that lasts.
But not every single woman is waiting around for a man to put a ring on it. Many of them are perfectly content being alone for the rest of their lives if they never find partners who match up to their standards. Others are definitely on the prowl for a mate, but are still currently unattached for varying reasons.
These single ladies share their reasons for being free, single and disengaged.
Tamica, 29, entrepreneur:
I’ve been single for five years, but not celibate. I am serially monogamous though, so I only have one partner at a time. I just choose to remain single because, frankly, men put out more effort when you don’t commit to them. I’ve had the best and most fulfilling ‘relationships’ of my life as a single woman. The last guy I was seeing even bought me a ring and begged me to marry him and I told him no. I’m not ready to commit to anyone like that.
Taylor, 25, student:
I’ve been single forever, and it’s for a number of reasons: I’m introverted, I don’t really go out, and I’m not very friendly or encouraging if I think someone is interested. I’m not very memorable or ‘standout-ish’ — and I don’t try to be. I’m not likely to encourage anyone in any way if I don’t see it lasting. I’m actually not all that interested in dating anyone, either.
Sash, 32, copywriter:
I’ve been single since about May 2020. My ex was laid off from his job shortly after COVID-19 came and he took it hard. He wasn’t trying to get another job. He was just home all day playing video games and being a slob while I worked my butt off. Because I was working from home, he still clearly expected me to be cleaning up after him and cooking, and he made it very hard for me to focus on my work. I realised how much of a man-child he is, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told him to move out of the house that I was paying rent for. I’m still single because I haven’t gone anywhere to meet anyone, and honestly, it is very peaceful just living alone and doing my own thing for a while. I’m not in a rush.
Yaniek, 30, HR officer:
I’m single on record, but I know who to call when I’m feeling lonely. It’s been this way for about four years now. It’s not that I don’t want a serious relationship, it’s just that I am serious about the kind of relationship I want — and I’m not willing to compromise on my standards just to say I have somebody. I would like to get married and have two children [but] I have not yet met the man who I think will make a good husband to me and father to my children, so I’ll keep it moving until I do.
Ashley, 35, artist:
I’ve been single for two years. I’m divorced, and at this point in time I’m more interested in building myself before I begin to think of sharing my life with another person again. Having gone through the experience of a failed marriage, I am more discerning about the next person I want to be with. Being with a john crow for so long has taught me a lot.
