Help your toddler to make friends
AT around three years old your toddler will begin to understand the concept of friendship, and can identify friends by name, and express a desire to play with them. Before then their world will be pretty much centred on their own needs, and they will do their own thing, even when you may push them to interact with other children. It’s also around three that the imitation and copying of friends will start — the conscious following of what new friends do, how they act, and what they like and dislike. And it’s at this stage that parents usually start the friend and play groups to aid their toddlers’ social development.
How do yo make the right choices when it comes to these play groups and helping your toddler make friends? First of all it’s up to the parent to introduce opportunities for socialisation, even outside of the school setting if your children are enrolled. This includes playdates and friend circles, early childhood educator and parent Maureen Dennis said.
“Interaction with peers will help your child in various ways, like helping them regulate those emotions toddlers seem unable to control, helping them develop social skills, and starting the process of knowing who they are, and that they’re a part of a society,” Dennis said.
“Children not exposed to these can feel lonely and socially isolated, and don’t perform well in social situations.”
She gives these four tips for parents for helping their toddlers make friends.
Be the instigator
“The parent will be the one to plan the meet-up, but not only that, they will also be responsible for encouraging the engagement,” she said. “Your toddler won’t just be instantly social once they meet a friend — they need you to feed them the cues for how to relate.”
Keep things simple
There’s no need to go for the big guns immediately; keep things simple. “So, for example, if you live in a neighbourhood where there are other kids their age, a simple game of hop scotch or using building blocks in play can bring the kids together, and keep them occupied,” Dennis said.
Accept that difficulties will arise
“Sometimes the kids won’t want to play, whether it is that they’re tired, hungry or just not in the mood. Don’t force the interaction if that’s the case,” she said. Your toddler may want to be friends one day, and the next day may want to be by themselves. Respect their feelings on the matter, and don’t force the interaction.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
“Toddlers can be mean towards each other, and they will be at the ‘me, me, me’ stage for a while. If the other children don’t want to play with your child, for example, don’t be disheartened, as often they do a 180 next time around.”
So don’t get upset and judge the other child who may be going through the same range of emotions yours is battling with.
