A woman’s role
THE term “a woman’s role” historically refers to societal expectations and stereotypes about tasks or responsibilities traditionally assigned to women. These roles have been shaped by cultural, historical and sometimes religious norms. However, such designations are evolving, and societal perspectives on gender roles are changing to be more inclusive and diverse.
But that hasn’t meant that some people aren’t still intent on perpetuating stereotypes and hindering efforts towards equality and inclusivity, as seen in the experiences of the women below. What’s the most absurd “woman’s role” expectation you’ve encountered?
Shanice, 34:
For some background, I’m young and accomplished in a men’s field — with a master’s degree to boot — so I can hold my own. But I’m the only woman on my team. One weekend we were all in a planning retreat at work, and it was lunch time so we took the break. We were waiting for the caterers to serve when one of the guys said they were moving too slowly and that time was against us, and they needed help. Another guy suggested that I should help them serve the drinks and lay out the cutlery. When I frowned, the others, including the bosses, sought to explain that they meant no offence, but the men would probably spill the drinks while a woman would know how to not spill them, and what cutlery to place where.
Destiny, 30:
We both work demanding jobs, but my husband expects me to pick our daughter up from school, prepare her for school the next day, help with homework, cook him dinner, keep the place clean, and be ready for sex on demand when he needs it. By the way, this is despite him promising to go 50/50 in the marriage during pre-marital counselling. Whenever I don’t cook, and suggest we eat out or order food, he draws the “bad wife” card, and says it’s my “duty” so he doesn’t understand why I have an issue with it. Then if I protest more, he says there are other women out there who wouldn’t complain about being a wife.
Jayla, 27:
When my mother was sick last year, although I am the youngest child, the fact that I’m female meant that I was the one who had to care for her during her illness. I didn’t mind, because she’s my mom, but my brothers never helped out. They said I couldn’t expect them to care for our mom, or see her in a certain state, because it wasn’t “normal” for a man to see his mother like that. When she died, though, they were the first to enquire about assets, and the first to run to NIS to apply for the funeral grant.
Tiana, 24:
I work for a church office. I’m the one who has to order lunches, press the pastor’s robe, make the coffee for the office, order the water, and take minutes for meetings. I’m not the secretary, but it seems like after they hired me they decided that I would do both my job and the secretary’s work. I can’t even complain, because complaining is ungodly.
Aaliyah, 36:
My husband says my daughter is lazy and needs to help out in the house, even though I told him that she’s preparing for exams and needs the time to study. Ironically, she’s a twin, and her brother is also preparing for exams yet he’s never asked to do any kind of work around the house. My husband says I’m spoiling her and that she will be of no use to her husband later on with an attitude like that.
