Simone Thomas: The unconventional journey to motherhood

“GOD answers prayers according to His perfect will, in His perfect timing.” This quote aptly sums up the unconventional journey to motherhood taken by Simone Thomas, manager of productivity and strategy execution at JMMB Group. Thomas confesses that after more than a decade-long journey of being denied the opportunity to “become a mother”, her faith, though shaken, was never dashed.

In what she describes as “God’s perfect will and timing”, she this year celebrated her first Mother’s Day as the mother of three foster children.

She described her tiny tots as “nothing short of a miracle”.

“Imagine having three children in the space of a year…I got them ready-made, nicely designed and well-packaged,” she gushed. “They are more than I could have ever asked God for, they are simply a blessing.”

Growing up in an extended family, where her home was always open to children whether they were her mother’s biological children or children from the wider community, the maternal instinct came natural to Thomas. This was further honed by her involvement in children’s and youth ministries at her church. It therefore seemed like the natural progression when she met and married her husband Lancelot, who shared her love for children, that they would fill their homes with little footsteps.

But Thomas’s hopes of becoming a biological mother was instead met with the harsh realities of battling polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). In in addition to causing weight gain, acne and irregular periods and other health concerns, it impacted her fertility. Although feeling betrayed by her body, Thomas was determined to explore her options, eventually turning to a fertility specialist that recommended a three-year long course of lifestyle changes leading to intrauterine insemination. This saw Thomas shedding more than 50 pounds to increase her chances of getting pregnant and to compensate for the likely weight gain, which is a symptom of PCOS.

Now in advanced maternal age and no success so far with assisted fertility treatments, Thomas sought the face of God in tears for an answer to her prayers.

“Although, I had always figured that whether or not I became a mom I would be OK, a part of me wanted to experience motherhood, especially for my husband’s sake,” she said.

But unbothered by whether or not he was a biological father, Lancelot was open to the idea of adoption. But Simone was hesitant, clinging desperately to the hope that her fate would change with a miracle in the form of twin babies. It was the chance discussion with a friend who had fostered a child through the support of the For the Child (FTC) foster care programme, that became the sign that Simone needed to take a leap of faith. The FTC programme is a privately run programme under Family Life Ministries in partnership with the Child Protection and Family Services Agency and Nairn Family Homes in Canada.

The decision to go the unconventional route to motherhood was one filled with uncertainty and many tearful moments, but now with her “bundles of joy on board”, Thomas has no regrets.  “Indeed, God answered my prayer as my foster children also include a [pair of] twins, and I always wanted twins,” Thomas laughed.

Thomas eased into motherhood, having spent the time to research the process of the temporary arrangement of custody or guardianship for children whose parents are currently unable to provide them with the necessary care.

She described the transition to motherhood as seamless as she took the time to prepare psychologically, financially, and made adjustments to her home to welcome the new additions to her family. Crediting her village for support along the journey, notably her mother, friends and professionals like the social worker and psychologist assigned to her and Lancelot through FTC, she was fully prepared.

“I also took advantage of the JMMB Employee Assistant Programme to get the necessary counselling to ensure that I was fully ready mentally, and even a member of my team gave me books to help,” she said.

“I realise that if you open your heart, you can easily care for children whether they are yours biologically or not, and so it has been so easy for us to love our foster children and share our lives with them. They have brought such joy to my life.”

Embracing her role as a foster mother, Thomas outlined that as much as she loves her children, she understands that this arrangement is intended to be temporary and that children can be reunited with their biological families.

“I am fine with the children interacting with members of their biological family, provided that this is approved by the FTC, as I love when children know their roots, having experienced first-hand the value of having a loving family,” she said. “I therefore want them to have that, where circumstances permit. I see interaction with the biological family while under my care as an opportunity to have more parents and more people to love the children and support them.”

With over 4,000 children in institutional care in Jamaica, evidence suggests that their life chances can be maximised if they receive the opportunity to live with a family in which they feel a sense of belonging, acceptance, and unconditional love.  Against this background, Thomas urges other women, especially those who may experience fertility challenges, to consider foster parenting and adoption as another route to motherhood, as her only regret in the process is not making the decision earlier.

Thomas’s journey to motherhood, though fraught with disappointments and setbacks along the way, is a testament to God’s perfect timing and that He withholds no good gifts from His children. For her, being a foster mother is God’s answer to her prayers.