Groomed, impregnated and left to raise a child alone

Dear Mrs Macaulay

I met my son’s father when I was 15 years old. We started talking because he said all I needed was someone I could talk to and someone I could trust. He took me to his house and had his way with me. Weeks after, I found out I was pregnant and told him. He asked me not to tell anyone he was responsible.

I didn’t say a word to anyone. Months went by and I never heard from him. When I finally contacted him he told me not to call him back.

I got through the pregnancy and my mom insisted that I give my son his father’s name. He still didn’t come around.

A couple years went by. One day he showed up at my house and tried to steal my son’s birth paper. We had a huge fight and I ran him out of my house, and never heard from him until my son was three. A friend found him and called me. I went to the court office and took out a summons for him, for child maintenance.

When he came to court he said the child wasn’t his. He didn’t show up at the next court date for paternity to be established, and I lost all communication. A bench warrant was issued for him, but to no avail. My son is now 14 years old and when he asked about his dad, I told him the whole truth. He would like to change his name. How can the law help me? I can’t force this man to do something that clearly doesn’t interest him, but I want my child to be OK.

I posted his name in the paper and I am waiting to see if I hear from him.

What happened to you was criminal. The father of your child committed at least two criminal offences against you and though you followed his direction after you told him that you were pregnant, you can still make the report against him. You can go to the Child Protection and Family Services Agency (CPFSA) and talk to them about what he did to you when you were 15 years old. The telephone number for the main office in Kingston is 876-948-6678 and it is at 48 Duke Street, Kingston. You and you mother had to bear the whole burden for your child’s growth and development. Were you in fact able to complete your education?

You were blessed that your mother advised you about the naming of your child and that you eventually took him to court, and though he absconded, the fact that a warrant was issued for him, which has not yet been executed on him, means he is a fugitive of the law and he can be arrested at any time when he is found. Do not give up on this. Keep up the pressure for him to be found. Even though he told the court that the child is not his, he knew that a DNA test would be ordered and that he would be proved to be the father of your child, so he ran away and disappeared. He is a scoundrel and a legal fugitive and he shall be caught.

Your son’s stance is not surprising as he must feel completely disgusted and wants to be completely alienated from such a man. I would advise you both to go and seek advice on this point at the CPFSA, and if your son is adamant, they can assist you both with the process of having his name changed, if this would be the best thing for your son in the circumstances. Let them talk with your son directly and counsel and advise him. This may be what is needed to open your case again, and ensure that the father is again searched for and found and brought before the court to answer to his deeds. If you can obtain a declaration of paternity for your son, and if this would be in his best interests, it should be done and this man should be made to pay up for all the expenses he ought to have met for your son’s upbringing. But, as I suggest, please go and get advice from the CPFSA as to what would be best for him. There is the criminal law for the offences he committed against you, and the civil law for the declaration of paternity and the provision of maintenance payments and other orders for your son’s benefit.

You are a good mother and you have tried all that you could to do the best for your son. You may receive some information following this newspaper publication, and if you do, this would aid the actions which the CPFSA could assist you and your child with, in order to get satisfaction of various kinds for the wrongful and criminal acts this man committed against you and your child.

I do hope that the coming year will bring a true resolution to this matter for you both. I wish you all success and that your son has a very bright and successful and fulfilling future and that you both enjoy all Gods’ blessings always.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public, and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5. All responses are published. Mrs Macaulay cannot provide personal responses.