Speaking with courage
Krystal Tomlinson Carter shares how women can find their voice
IN many professional and personal spaces, women often hold thoughtful ideas but hesitate to express them. For some, it is uncertainty about whether their message will land. For others, it is the pressure to sound polished or the fear of being judged.
Communication strategist, leadership coach, and author Krystal Tomlinson Carter believes that courageous communication is not an innate gift, but a skill that can be developed with practice, structure, and intention. Ahead of her upcoming workshop, She Speaks with Courage, Tomlinson Carter shares practical insights on how women can organise their thoughts, speak with greater clarity, and participate confidently in conversations.
Many women say they want to speak up more, but feel they are not ready. What would you say to them?
When most women say they aren’t ‘ready’, it’s usually a question of confidence and message clarity: “Do I know what I want to say? Will I say it effectively?” Change the questions you ask before you speak, and that stimulates message clarity and confidence through a pre-speaking ritual. Instead of questioning your ability, consider your experience and the needs of the audience or conversation around inclusion, constructive feedback, and critical thinking.
Asking: “What has my experience taught me on this issue?” helps organise your thoughts for message clarity. Considering which stakeholder view is missing invites inclusion. Exploring the biases driving a decision or the assumptions that have not been tested creates an opportunity for critical thinking and constructive feedback.
What is the first step someone should take when preparing to speak in front of others?
Through a tailored pre-speaking ritual, I guide my clients to clarify three things before they open their mouths. First, identify the audience. Who sits in the room, and what role do they play in the conversation? Second, define the needs and concerns of that audience. What pressures are they facing, what decisions sit on their desk, and what problems demand attention? Finally, develop a strategy to connect those needs with the knowledge you will share. That connection happens through thoughtful storytelling, strategic framing, and clear examples that show why the idea matters right now.
Many people worry about sounding perfect when they speak. How can they overcome that pressure?
Speakers who are desperate to impress rarely do. It helps to treat speaking as an opportunity to serve your audience, not a peacock moment that demands a display of feathers. When we become other-focused, we reduce sensitivity to our human imperfections and prioritise the needs of the audience and ways to effectively communicate meaning. If you stumble over a word, you continue. If a sentence doesn’t sound clear, restate the idea with simpler language. Audiences respond to speakers who sound human and thoughtfully structure and deliver their ideas.
You often encourage people to share their stories. Why are personal experiences so powerful when speaking?
One of my “Immutable Laws of Public Speaking” is never make a point without telling a story and never tell a story without making a point! Communication at its most fundamental level is an attempt to communicate meaning, so my job as a coach is to help clients identify frameworks that give data (facts and arguments) meaning. The human brain processes information through patterns and narratives, which makes stories one of the most effective ways to organise ideas. They give the audience something they can picture, follow logically, grasp context, experience tension and relief through the characters, and make the abstract tangible.
What is one simple way someone can build confidence in their speaking skills over time?
In 1-on-1 Coaching, one of our most immersive and transformative exercises is the practice of explaining ideas out loud every day. Confidence is stimulated as you get more familiar with your own voice and thinking process — long before you ever stand on a stage. Use the mundane moments to practise and improve. After reading an article or finishing a meeting, summarise the key idea in two or three sentences out loud. This exercise strengthens enunciation, clarity, and organisation of thought. Over time, you become faster at situational awareness, forming coherent sentences, and responding during meetings, presentations, and interviews. The mind learns that speaking is simply thinking out loud with structure. As a bonus tip, record yourself and listen to how you pronounce your words, your pacing, and breathing, and commit to improving one thing in the next meeting recap. Practice, practice, practice. Nothing beats practice.
What do you hope women will gain from the She Speaks with Courage experience?
I want women to leave with a new respect for and relationship with their voice as well as clear systems for using it well. Many capable women hold thoughtful ideas yet hesitate to express them in rooms where decisions shape careers, policies, and strategy. The hesitation rarely reflects a lack of intelligence. It usually reflects uncertainty about how to organise the message and how to deliver it with composure and in the face of criticism.
Our focus is on career-shaping moments and high-stakes scenarios. We will guide each participant on how to organise ideas quickly, deliver them with precision, and engage opposing viewpoints with confidence rather than retreat. Most importantly, each woman will leave with evidence that her perspective belongs in the room. Courage will stop feeling abstract and unattainable and will begin to feel practical, regardless of her personality.
