Ranking the female zodiac signs: Lovers, heartbreakers and walking red flags

NO one wants to admit that zodiac signs have a bearing on our personalities; in fact, the responses to my previous testimony that with men, some signs will run you through the washer on the heavy duty setting, put you out to dry, and then repeat the cycle, while others will woo you and wed you, was met with mixed reactions.

The fact is, the men themselves have confessed that most times they can’t control who they are, having been destined to share the qualities of a sign that may or may not have good qualities. We explored that last column, and in this one, I’m warning the men about the women they should stay far from, and those they should embrace.

THE WOMEN NEVER TO DATE

Gemini: Like the men who rule under this sign, these women can charm their way into anyone’s heart, but they are also two-faced and will lie like a fitted sheet. They also suck at managing their emotions and have trouble committing to anything, including jobs and romantic partners. These women crave excitement and freedom, and will constantly keep you on your feet – in an emotionally exhausting kind of way.

Cancer: These women will never love you – at least you’ll never know where you stand, because they guard their emotions like a prison. They will also never trust you, as these women have major trust issues, even when it’s overtly unwarranted. Worst, they’re perfectionists who dislike being criticised and added to that, they’re stubborn and unpredictable, and their moods can be all over the place.

Aquarius: Run! These women commendably have a sense of justice, fairness and service to their community, and they’re natural leaders who are highly intelligent. But they follow their own set of rules, and are emotionally unavailable, cold and prone to melancholy, which makes it very, very hard for anyone to keep up with them. And they don’t forgive, ever.

Scorpio: These women are attractive both physically and intellectually, but they are also attracted to power, position and money, and will go head to head with their men. Their headstrong, demanding nature makes them terrible partners, because though they are good to have on your arm when you’re dating, they can be self-destructive, compulsive and obsessive in the worst kind of way.

Sagittarius: They women are sincere, romantic, and have a wonderful sense of humour, but they will leave you faster than you can say ‘what happened?’. These women live in the moment and live only for themselves, and are too impatient and headstrong to even entertain men for anything long-term.

THE WOMEN YOU CAN TRY YOUR LUCK WITH, AND HOPE FOR THE BEST

Aries: They’re bossy and quarrelsome, but these women are also confident and independent. They know how to manage challenges, so they make good, solid partners. You won’t be able to boss an Aries woman around, but they’re good money managers, and love having a good time.

Taurus: They may have earned the moniker of ‘bull buck and duppy conqueror’, but for the most part, these women are trustworthy and faithful, and will make good, solid partners. They prioritise long-term stability and security, and are very extroverted and fun. However, once they commit they can be a bit overbearing – the stick to their men like glue, kinda vibe, and sometimes not in a healthy, knowing your boundaries type of way.

Leo: They’re conceited, but they’re also very kind and giving and committed. These women are magnets of attraction, and have high standards and good taste. So it’s touch an go which type of Leo woman you will get – either she will be a drama queen who doesn’t think you meet her standards, or someone who allows her man to take command of the situation.

Capricorn: These women are very goal oriented and independent, and strive for power. But family values are also important to them, even though they will more than likely be the leaders in the family, above their men. Beware, they also have a tendency towards being sarcastically pessimistic and can be introverted, so it’s like rolling the dice to really see what you’ll get.

THE WOMEN WHO ARE ALWAYS WINNERS

Virgo: The Virgo woman is a charmer, she’s modest, loving and makes a good companion. Virgo women will give you stability and family, and shows her love through acts of service. She is incredibly devoted and supportive, providing that you act the same.

Libra: This woman is charming, pleasant and graceful, and is able to manage difficult situations. They are wonderful human beings and devoted friends and partners, even though they might not be the most solid when it comes to making quick decisions. Though they can be unpredictable, their positive attributes make up for any negatives, to the point where they even avoid conflict and hide their true needs

Pisces: These women are very compassionate and unpretentitious and make good partners. They are very romantic and loyal, though they may wear rose colours glasses and get hurt easily by the wrong partner. They overly-prioritise their partner’s happiness, even above their own. They crave a profound emotional and spiritual connection with their partners, and will wholly commit to their relationships.

Jevaughnie Smith is a communications professional. Send feedback to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com.