To be a queen in bondage

Is more vile,

Than is a slave in base servility;

For princes should be free.

— Shakespeare, 1 Henry VI, V, 3

IT’S far worse to be a queen in bondage, than a slave serving his or her master. And so many people are in bondage, held emotionally captive and having to meet excessive demands daily.

So here’s the scenario, the woman is captured, kidnapped, whisked away to some secret place, but kept alive, for she is valuable. Next come the phone calls to her family, the voice on the other end of the line explains his mission, his request: “Deliver the prisoners that you have detained and we will free this captive.” And this is the genesis of the terrorist demands.

It’s really a request, but made in such a tone that you had better heed it or suffer the consequences. Such is the stuff that movies or action thriller books are made of, and of course the reality of TV news brings the stark truth home to us. But there is also the reality of the demands that people make on each other, right in the comfort of their own homes, and we’ll find out right after some feedback to Dog Days.

Hey Teerob,

I’ve been reading your stuff for many years, and yes, I do remember your column titled ‘All Men Are Dogs’. Well, who can deny that at times men act like dogs, are treated like how dogs used to be treated back in the day, and ironically are also loved because of their doggish ways. But this new found love that women have for dogs is nauseating to me. Just watching them as they pet and pamper their little rat-looking dogs makes me wonder what type of affection transferring they are displaying. If you check it out, it’s usually the ones who have no man or are getting no attention from their man who shower so much on these animals. Dog is dog and dog must stay in the yard and scare thief. Dog don’t belong inside house and in bed or sofa.

Eric

Mr Robinson,

What is the problem with a woman loving one of God’s creatures? Do you know that a dog is more loyal than a man and will love you more than a man and will never leave you? Yes, Mr Robinson, I have had my fair share of men who have turned out to be more curs than the lowest street mongrel. Worse yet, they are deceptive and sneaky. Yes, I own a dog, and I pamper and spoil her, and she is my friend. Sure she’s tiny and little bigger than a full-grown cat, but her heart is big and she offers me company. I am not off men completely, but the next man who comes knocking will have to love my dog too, or he won’t enter my life.

Maureen

Teerob,

What a life, dog over man. Woman a put dog ahead of man and treat them better than man, and then they wonder why they have no man. Sometimes I see them in their cars with the dog hanging out of the window like a child, and I have to shake my head in disbelief. Yet they wouldn’t give a brother the time of day. The world is truly upside down.

Dog Whisperer

The word ‘demand’ as defined by Webster’s Dictionary, means; To ask for with authority, or to claim as a right; to ask for peremptorily, or to claim as a right; to call for or require as just, proper or necessary. In effect, the word ‘demand’ is a very strong one, and I’ll bet my last dollar that it’s something that people do not like to be subjected to. Far better to ask a favour, or make a polite request, but when that takes on a severe tone, the whole mood changes, and defences and resistance are applied.

This came about because I was in a discussion with a lady who casually stated that when she’s dealing with a man, he has to meet her demands… all of them. When I suggested to her that the word ‘demand’ was a tad too strong and may be a turn-off, she replied that she saw nothing wrong with it, as she has certain demands that have to be met, and any man who couldn’t meet them had better keep on walking.

She makes this known to every man that she meets and tells them up front what she expects of them. “Listen, I hope that you can deal with a woman like me… I like to be taken out frequently… I love affection… I like long drives in the country… I like space when I need it…. I..I..I.”

But does this typify most women? Are women prone, conditioned, hell-bent on making demands on men, and if they aren’t met, then it’s “My way or the highway”? History and the polls would suggest that this is true, and when I pointed this out to her, she accused me of female bashing. Poor me, female bashing indeed, when almost all of my friends are women, and I empathise, sympathise and realise that women are the real rulers.

The problem is, many women have been so conditioned to make demands that it’s just par for the course for them. They do not see their demands as being demands, but merely natural requests that men must answer to. “Nothing is wrong with a man doing everything for me, paying for everything for me, catering to my needs, and if he has a problem with that, then he can walk on by.” As the line goes from the play, The Plumber: “A man is like a project, it don’t suit you to deh wid him if you can’t profit from it.”

Just do your own informal poll and see who makes demands more, men or woman. Even in her choice of men a woman is demanding, “He has to be tall… dark… handsome… rich… own a white horse…”

When I asked men to give me examples of demands from women, I almost had to close the sluice gates to stop the flood of complaints and stories.

“Women expect you to ‘lend’ them money all the time, regardless of your financial situation, and they never pay it back.”

“True, somehow they think that it’s their right, but if you ever ask for a loan, you are grilled more severely than when the IMF outlines its conditions to countries.”

“Not only that, you have to pay it back or she will keep on reminding you till kingdom come.” That, I know, is true, for I have male friends who will ask their bredrin for a short-term loan but would never ask their women for such a loan. When I ask them why, the answer always is, “Man, you don’t know her, first she want to know what I need it for, then when she going to get it back, and how come all the time I need money, and horse dead and cow fat…” And yet I know that these men lend their women all the time and never get it back. No wonder they call it terrorist demands.

Now, men make demands too, but usually they’re of a sexual nature, and lean more towards quantity rather than quality. “As long as him get it regular him is alright,” this wife told me of her husband. Men’s demands are simple in that department and very rarely do men make other demands of their women. But when a woman makes demands in that area, I pity the man who tries to meet them.

Now, I can handle myself in that department (at least I used to), and what I lacked in skill I made up in enthusiasm, but even I had to take a breath and wisely retreat from a situation when years ago I was faced with the daunting demands of a young lady from way back in my past… way back. We were about to consummate the relationship when she stated her demands to me: “First I want you to do this for seven minutes… than when you’re finished, I like this done to me for eight minutes… after that I like being caressed and kissed for 45 minutes… then you must anoint my body with scented oils… then…”

This to-do list went on and on and filled more pages than the manual of a Formula One car racing team. Visions of me having to go through that list of demands every time made me think twice about that relationship, and I beat a rapid retreat. It’s just too much work for too little pleasure. And that’s what terrorist demands do, they terrorise you emotionally and kill the vibes of meaningful relationships.

Why are men so simple with their demands, but women so complicated with theirs? Why do women set out as their task in life to mould a man into what they think he should be? Why do they set out to change a man as soon as they spend a little time with him? “Honey, I know how you used to be before you met me, but you have to put all that behind you… here is your to-do list of what I expect of you… first, those clothes got to go… and then…”

Some men give in to these demands, wilt under the pressure and spend the rest of their lives complaining about it. Others resist and survive, but only long enough to fight the constant battle of the next terrorist attack and demands. No wonder some of my bredrin refer to their women as Taliban… and that’s the truth.

I have done the research, the empirical evidence is there, terrorist demands are real… but guess what… men are sleeping with the terrorists.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: Our security forces have come under a lot of pressure recently as they take the fight to the criminal underworld. Yet they’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t and even damned more when they do what they’re trained to do. There is no such thing as a clean war, don’t let the movies fool you. Force has to be met with greater force, and when the State is under threat, our security forces are our only barriers between normality and anarchy.

For all those people who were crowing for our army to be disbanded, I guess you’re singing a different song now when you saw the threat that gunmen held over us. Of course, they’re not perfect, and abuse must not be tolerated, but they are our protectors and we must give them the respect that they deserve.

How many of you armchair critics could pick up a rifle and run headlong into battle against gunmen bent on killing you? We asked for serious steps to be taken to stem our terrible crime rate, yet when steps are taken, people expect it to be a tea party. Talk comes easy when you aren’t on the front line.