The pitfalls of breaking up in the age of social media

THERE is nothing easy about a break-up, and the social media era makes it no easier.

When all is happy in your relationship, everyone sees via photos, Tweets and posts and as sure as night follows day, when you break up, be it civil or acrimonious, they all witness it.

According to social media consultant and trainer Hanniffa Patterson, social media reaches billions of people and extends far beyond Facebook.

“It’s not just Facebook, WhatsApp is social media, so is Instagram, Twitter and many other sites,” she said.

And so, Patterson said though you may be able to physically remove things about your relationship from social media after a break up, mentally they still remain.

Below she explains a few of the pitfalls of breaking up on social media.

1. Revenge porn

Patterson said on social media many times people send nude photos to their partners and when the relationship goes sour, it is used against them. “The photos are posted on social media as a way to get back at the partner for leaving. Legislation has not caught up with it as yet, therefore these things for the most part go unpunished,” she said.

2. It’s difficult to avoid seeing the person

The social media consultant and trainer said you can still observe the movements of an individual after you’ve broken up with them. “You can Facebook and Instagram stalk them and you can see whom they’re dating,” Patterson said.

3. Aggressive bullying

Patterson said after a break-up people on the side of either partners who split may use the medium as a way to terrorise either partner. “They may send threatening messages through WhatsApp or write on an individual’s wall as a form of intimidation,” she said.

4. Professional implications

Patterson said many employers check out the social media accounts of their employees and depending on the seriousness of the break up, it may affect your reputation and if it gets nasty online, it may cost you your job.

5. It is embarrassing

“When you have ‘in a relationship with’, then you change to ‘it’s complicated’, then ‘single’, it is embarrassing,” Patterson said. She added that the person who does the change of status first is the person seen with the power, which makes it even worse. Additionally, Patterson said having to see a shared photo with both of you in it, having to untag photos and delete pictures is difficult, and constantly seeing the photos your ex chooses to not take down serves as a reminder of your past, especially when someone oblivious to what took place sees it and asks who the other person is.

6. You become withdrawn

Patterson said social media ‘celebritises’ people to some extent and when the ship sinks people become more reluctant and careful to avoid the hurt and embarrassment.