‘God is not ready to bless you yet’
Whether she has chosen not to be a mother, or conceiving is proving to be an issue for her, a woman’s fertility is no one else’s business but hers. But still many people sometimes make rude and crude comments, and below, author Bridget Thompson-Dunkley tells what’s never OK to say.
1. ‘Just relax, it’s not your time yet’
Some may even go as far as to say, ‘God is not ready to bless you as yet’. But no woman wants to be told to relax, especially if she is frantically trying to have a baby as her biological clock continues to tick away. Plus who is to say when our respective times are? Everything will happen when it is supposed to happen. Saying things like, ‘Take your mind off of it, it will happen when you least expect it’, also brings no relief.
2. ‘Just get a dog/cat’
Equating a child with a pet is insensitive and shows that you are trivialising the issue.
3. ‘Try this position or that position’
No one needs a manual to have sex! For centuries humans have been copulating and conceiving in every imaginable position and so there is no one way to do it. Telling her how your little Johnny came about might seem like practical advice, but it’s not.
4. ‘You want mine?’
Is this a joke or are you for real? Is she supposed to laugh or stare at you in awkward silence? Bringing home someone else’s kids is no consolation prize. She might instead interpret it as an insult — you taking the opportunity to rub your fertility in her face.
5. ‘You’re not missing anything’
You cannot tell a woman that. If she is trying to have a baby, this bit of advice won’t change her heart’s desire. And if she’s not, chances are she already knows that she’s not missing much.
