We are gentlemen

That never in our hearts

Nor upward eyes

Envy the great

Nor do the low despise.

— Shakespeare, Pericles II, 3

Ah, a true gentleman indeed is a man of good breeding, honest, noble stock, gallant, and sadly, perhaps a tad out of place in this turbulent modern-day world. Truth be told, women don’t hold much stock for gentlemen nowadays, at least the younger ones don’t, and in fact, may question their masculinity if they dare to display such gallant traits.

Yet, those same women continue to misunderstand men, which leads to much confusion and problems. So today, it’s answers to a few questions that women seem to always ask, right after these comments to ‘Give thanks’ and ‘Straight rights’.

Hi Tony,

In response to your article on giving thanks for sex, my good friend told me that his wife would not give him much, if any sex at all. He came up with the idea to offer her money for sex. He said she started ‘killing him with it’ as long as he paid. He could get it anytime and anywhere. Only problem was, he felt like he was sleeping with a prostitute, which for him was a turn-off, and he wondered if she was ‘selling it’ to other men too. The marriage is over, and they are fighting it out in court. Give thanks indeed.

Linval

Mr Robinson,

I agree that we men need to give a whole heap of attention to our women and give thanks, even though it sometimes seems like a bottomless pit, and is never enough. The problem is that some women can absorb the attention afforded and not reciprocate in a degree to address the attention the man needs. At times this leads the giver to decide not to give more, which starts the unravelling of the relationship. The point is, attention giving and receiving go both ways, the same goes for ‘fed-up-ness!!’

Earl

Hey Teerob,

Regarding ‘Straight rights’, I must say I agree with your article 100 per cent. I share your sentiments on the gay rights activists who think they have all the rights in the world. Earlier this year, a ‘boycott Jamaica’ campaign which started in California caught my attention. These people are trying to sabotage Brand Jamaica and hypocritically so, only because we are an easy target; and using murders of members of the gay community here as justification. We all know that these people were killed in their own community. Ah bwoy, we really need to lobby for straight rights.

Monae

As a writer, I learnt that the difference between writing truth and writing fiction is that fiction has to make sense. And how true, for in the make-believe land of fiction, the good guy always triumphs, he gets the girl and they live happily ever after. End a book or movie otherwise and you’ll have many disgruntled people. “What kinda eediat show dat, everybody dead off, even the star dem.”

But we know that true stories often end in tragedy, and have no rhyme, reason or logic to them. Truth follows no logic, and simply put, truth is indeed stranger than fiction, and there are many truths about men that women still do not grasp. They just don’t get it.

Well, someone e-mailed a list of answers to questions that women always ask of men, so I hope to clear the air with some man answers. How often have we heard the question, “Why are men such jerks?” A jerk, of course, being a guy who does odd, weird and silly things that women do not appreciate. Well, the research states that it’s similar to the female PMS syndrome, and we all know what happens when women experience PMS.

Well, someone e-mailed a list of answers to questions that women always ask of men, so I hope to clear the air with some man answers. How often have we heard the question, “Why are men such jerks?” A jerk, of course, being a guy who does odd, weird and silly things that women do not appreciate. Well, the research states that it’s similar to the female PMS syndrome, and we all know what happens when women experience PMS.

Run for your lives, for PMS drives then to a fury and rage, plus lack of reasoning and logic that has no answer. It’s all caused by an increase in their hormone levels. Well, men suffer from this increase too, which results in testosterone poisoning, and that’s why they act like jerks and do stupid things. I’m sure you’ve heard the term, ‘it’s a testosterone issue’, why a seemingly sane man would fight over a small matter like a game of dominoes, or refuse to reverse his vehicle because another car drove down on him on the bridge. They both sit there like idiots while traffic piles up for miles behind them. Naturally another man will shout, “Don’t move, driva, don’t move.” It’s hormones that make men act like jerks.

Then there’s the question, ‘Why do men have to ogle other women?’ Now that’s such a silly question. Why do women think that the moment you start dating them, you must suddenly shut down your visual acuity and walk around with blinkers like you’re some old retired racehorse? It’s because you used to ogle women why she caught your attention in the first place, so she should understand. Do they really think that the ogling gene just melted away or went dormant the moment they met you? Get real, men are born to look, and women love being looked at, so get over it.

That’s why they spend hours putting on make-up before they go out. Plus, women ogle too, but they mask it very well and are far more efficient. Just a cursory glance of a nanosecond is all that a woman needs to gather her information, but a man has to look and stare and ogle and leer. Then he also has to make a comment, “Hey baby, yu look nice, I can come check you?”

Which leads right into the next question, “Why do men say such stupid things?” Well, men ask the same question of women, but the only difference, the research says, is that men do it on purpose, just to infuriate women. And to add to that, many men like to say stupid things just to get a reaction out of women. They get a kick out of doing it. But in the same breath, women ask ‘Why are men so uncommunicative?’ These are the same people who say that they like the strong, silent type. It’s so confusing, no wonder men die first.

To add to this, women ask, “Why can’t men share their feelings?” Feelings, what feelings? How can a man share his feelings when he doesn’t even know what his feelings are? Is it love or is it lust, is she a one-night stand or a keeper, should I go or should I stay? Once again, it showcases the uncertainty and confusion of man. Men don’t really know how they feel, so for safety, they are non-communicative and do not share any thoughts or ‘feelings’ that they may have. Again, it’s self-preservation.

Then the women take it even further by asking, “Why can’t men say I love you?” Throughout history, women have consistently asked this question with no definitive answer, which leads to constant angst and frustration on their part. “Ten years now I know the man, and not once him ever tell me say him love me,” I’ve heard women say. It doesn’t matter that the man has toiled, broken his back to provide for her, mortgaged his soul, sent her through school, given her more than she asked for, she still wants to hear the words ‘I love you.’

Then the women take it even further by asking, “Why can’t men say I love you?” Throughout history, women have consistently asked this question with no definitive answer, which leads to constant angst and frustration on their part. “Ten years now I know the man, and not once him ever tell me say him love me,” I’ve heard women say. It doesn’t matter that the man has toiled, broken his back to provide for her, mortgaged his soul, sent her through school, given her more than she asked for, she still wants to hear the words ‘I love you.’

And the sad irony is, she’ll go behind the man’s back and jump into bed with the first man who says those words to her.

“Barbara, how could you, after all I did for you?”

“He told me that he loved me, that’s why.”

But here’s another irony, saying ‘I love you’ only means, ‘I want to have sex with you’, a trick that men have learnt over the years. But guess what, it works, and women still fall for it. They want to hear it, they have to, they need to hear those words. But only men with an agenda will utter those words. After the act, his lips are sealed, and those three words will never be spoken again.

The research continues to say that uttering those words is akin to weakness, as it’s like saying, ‘I need you’, Men don’t like to feel that vulnerable.

Ah, so many questions, so many questions. “Why can’t you pick up after, why can’t you spread the bed, why can’t you wash the dishes, why can’t you spend more time on foreplay?” The research concludes men don’t do these things because it doesn’t bother them. “If it bothers you, then you pick up, you spread the bed, you do the dishes.”

As I always say, I don’t make the rules, but merely report them.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: Some friends of mine have adopted a baby, and what a glorious thing adoption is, as a definite choice was made to care for, nurture, love and share a life with someone else. So many births are as a result of an accident, bad timing, trickery, or a failed contraceptive device, but an adoption is a definite choice. Blessed are those who adopt, and blessed are those who are adopted. Life comes, life goes. Last week Friday, Judge E G Green, Jamaica’s first ombudsman, literary luminary, master of the purple prose and a man who served his country with honour and distinction, passed away peacefully. E G Green was a giant, and even in his field of other giants, his integrity and honour served as an example to many. A true Jamaican stalwart, now gone to rest.