Whether we like it or not our co-workers are like our family members. For one thing, unless we are in the company’s hiring department, we do not get to choose our colleagues. It is fate that sometimes rudely throws us together. So, in your job you might find yourself working cheek to jowl with the accountant who vaguely reminds you of that pervert of an uncle whose behavior everyone in the family whispers about but never confronts.

Miss Chisholm in marketing brings to mind your always pontificating aunt who holds every post in church and minds everyone’s business but her own. Sandra the receptionist might remind you strongly of that rebel sister or cousin who sleeps around relentlessly, this too is an open family secret. But personality quirks aside that is as far as the office/ family resemblance goes.

No matter where you are employed and no matter what they tell you: your work colleagues are not your family. It may truly seem that way sometimes and there might be instances where some work relationship bonds develop into firm friendships and become even stronger than familial ties after all you spend most of your time with these people, separated only by the differing number of zeros on your pay check and office/cubicle sizes. Those work relationships that develops into something ‘sweeter’ is a whole ‘nother story. We will leave that for happy hour.

The truth is that at the end of the day, we are all paid servants rendering to Caesar. It only takes one falling out with management or the trial of redundancy to set the matter straight and give you the proper perspective. Your workplace is not your home and your boss is not your mother/father although their benevolence when you want a day off, might seem paternal. We (at least most of us) are hired for our special skills that are useful for the company at the time of our employ. Everything becomes real when you are asked to hand in your identification card and all access material to company property. Considering the ties that bind us together at work, how do we thread that sometimes thin work relationship line and effectively communicate at the work place.

Maybe it is just here in our Caribbean culture that this happens but have you ever worked in an organization where people call each other ‘auntie’ or ‘uncle’? Or are you employed in one of the organizations where everyone (save for the ancillary) is on a first name basis? Keeping it real they say. What do you think of this? Does it irk you because there is no way on this side of Hades would you ever be related to such an absolute moron of a person like Mr. ‘uncle’ Parkins in the operations department?

Then there is the flip side. There are corporate cultures which are so up-tight and ultra-corporate where everyone is referred to as Mr., Mrs. Or Miss So-and-so. The hierarchical lines in this company are rigidly drawn and if you are a new employee on the scene it will behoove (yes, in an office like that they would use that word) you to walk the chalk line of the office decorum of that environment. The thing is that in some workplace environment no one really points out these nuances to you and more often than not you are caught flat-footed with said foot-in-mouth when you call your colleague (not a subordinate) by their first name. Your boss, (although some will) will perhaps never mention it directly to you not wanting to seem snooty or too slavish in their insistence and will turn the matter over to HR.

Why don’t they tell us these things? The truth is that there are some office protocols that because they are either look too ridiculous or too draconian when written, we just have to live and learn them. You know, ‘buck you toe’ and learn from the error kind of thing. There are some unwritten office rules that you will never see in the Employee Handbook and no one will ever tell you either because when they joined no one told them and they had to suffer the indignity, scrape up their pride off the ground and come to work the next day.

Effectively communicating across the ties that binds us together in our work environment depends on where we work and the organizational culture. Unless you have ‘bad head’ you should learn really quickly how to address subordinates and superiors. It might seem like such a simple thing but not knowing how to communicate peer-to-peer and up the ladder can be a problem.

It is easier to see the rules of effective communication in the work place with written communication as the set of laws are straight forward when, for example addressing staff collectively. The etiquette tends to be formal when addressing the staff memo and colloquial phrases tend not to be included in office correspondence. You would perhaps not therefore get a memo from your boss calling himself ‘The Big Man who run tings’.

If you don’t how to, my advice is to ask someone in Human Resources to enlighten your darkness.

Yvonne Grinam-Nicholson, (MBA, ABC) is a Business Communications Consultant with ROCommunications Jamaica, specialising in business communications and financial publications. She can be contacted at: yvonne@rocommunications.com. Visit her website at www.rocommunications.com and post your comments.