Dear Editor,

Hanging Parliament? No, not literally. Allow me to explain. Some friends and I were talking about the recent election in the UK which is regarded as having a “Hung Parliament”.

Depressed by the state of our country and disgusted by the actions of many of our parliamentarians, we started to think about where we could hang our non-performing parliamentarians in Jamaica.

Not all, but just those gentlemen (I use the word advisedly) who may be regarded as non-functioning, and somewhat careless with the truth.

In a very short time we came up with a list of where we could hang them or where we could put them to be of use in our country.

Then one friend suggested that perhaps the Observer could run a contest to judge the entries and award a prize to the winner. The rest of us endorsed this unanimously.

I must emphasise, however, that the suggestions below are the more acceptable ones.

* Hang a few as potted plants. It may be pleasant to see them hanging around our city.

* Some could be paperweights. Being a paperweight may be considered to be a calling.

* Put them on leashes and take them out daily for walks.

* Place them in fields to act as scarecrows to protect our crops.

* A few sensible ones could be sent to the Pedro Cays where they could measure pollution levels or perhaps we could put them in the sea to count the sharks.

* Since many of them expel vast amounts of hot air, we could hang them on poles and turn them into wind generators.

My favourite suggestion would be that we place them on top of tall buildings to act as lightning conductors.

Oh, have I said something wrong? We do still have freedom of speech, don’t we?

Ann Frances

Port Maria

St Mary