PLEASE pardon me, but I didn’t formally introduced myself to my Splash readers, and based on the comments in my inbox elvachatalot@yahoo.com, there are many. My name is Elva of Bashco and FAME fm Full House Friday fame and my column is a lighter side of current affairs, burning issues, party happenings and the ranting of my very small mind. As I told Paulette and Mr Cole whilst we sat at their car wash on the Hellshire main road, writing is my passion, but chatting is my gift. Now that we have been introduced, let me get into this week’s drivel.

Beauty pageants are not my bag, but the stellar performance of our Yendi Phillipps at the Miss Universe show recently held in the United States of Las Vegas, forced me to join the pomp and ceremony. I tend to avoid ‘the beautiful people’, that’s what I call models and people in the fashion industry. The ‘beautiful people’ are rarely, if ever, warm, nor are they truly beautiful, but our media tells us that their image is where we should all strive to be so they float around with their heads in the clouds looking down at average folks like me. I usually finish off my burgers and wave up at them. They have every right to be here as do I, so I usually just avoid them so that we can co-exist beautifully together on the planet.

But back to Yendi and her immense success. Twitter blew up with comments raging from gushing enthusiasm of national pride to nail biting anxiety. Yendi was actually one of the top five trending subjects on Google. Me proud of our Yendi so much that I couldn’t care if she won or not. Just doing us proud made her Miss Universe in my eyes, irrespective of the judges’ decision. This elegant woman represented Jamaica fiercely; on and off the Miss Universe stage.

Medals aside, the global representation has done more for this country than we can imagine. Speaking of judges, who told Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman that she could judge? I’ve never seen her in a good suit of clothes yet. And what was up with the Rock of Love bandana-wearing emcee? Isn’t Brett Michaels like 73 years old? Him ‘common up’ the elegance of the pageant. It looks like the Miss Universe organisers top choices for those posts were unavailable and so they had to draw for who was willing, I’m just saying. Anyways, I felt she was cheated since she literally had the first place in her hand from the dance routine straight down to the gown segment.

A wonder if it’s because she go talk about swimming with sharks and cliff diving down at Rick’s Café. Mi almost drop out a mi plastic chair when Yendi said that. But mi never laugh too loudly, because the people in the United States of Las Vegas don’t know where Rick’s is, so she could tell them just about anything. She was selling her country on an international platform. Gwaan yaw Yendi! I was also staring into the faces of the audience members to see if Cassava Powell was in attendance, after all they are ‘friends’, and him visa not cancelled, but the camera moved too quickly so I didn’t catch a glimpse. Some people say it was the gown, some say it was the US’s way of making up to Mexico for stealing Texas and Nevada, but all I know is Yendi is my Miss Universe and all who used to snicker and speak badly about her are now crawling around on their bellies in shame. Link me on Twitter @ElvaJamaica. Have a great weekend.