IF your little boy is insisting on being a girl, playing dress up, and abandoning traditional boys toys for girls’, this is something that should be addressed as soon as it is noticed, child psychologist Camille Lemonious warns parents.

While many parents might be OK with their very young tots exploring the thrill of putting on mummy’s high heels or brasserie, this is not something that should be encouraged as it could affect their sexually later, the psychologist said.

Worse is when an older child makes declarations that he wants to be something like Barbie or a princess, and starts believing this is a natural aspiration.

“As soon as it is observed that your little boy decides that, the parents should sit him down and have a discussion with him,” the psychologist said. “Find out why it is that he wants to dress up like a girl and explain to him that princesses are females. I would want to know what he has seen and what has influenced his decision on that ground. Then explain to him that little boys’ roles are to be princes and kings. So high heels and little tiaras, they are nice to admire on girls, but on little boys it is not appropriate,” she said. “And I would have to start monitoring him more closely.”

Lemonious said sometimes if the boys are growing up in female-only households, they will emulate the examples they see.

“If there is no male in the house or if the male influence in the home is not effective, then he won’t have a strong enough role model,” she said. “So a man should not just be in the house, or in a visiting relationship with the mother, but also command the respect of the other females in the house.”

She added: “Chances are his role model is his mother. So he will be emulating his mother. Because in all honesty, maleness is a learned behaviour. So our little boys need to see and observe a man in his role.”

The child psychologist said from observation, boys, even at the primary level, who have a strong male influence at home walk, talk and behave differently from those who don’t.

“Those who only have their mother, some of them tend to be a little more effeminate or have more effeminate traits than those with a strong male role model,” Lemonious said.

She said if the father is not around, there needs to be a male role model even in the form of a relative present who will bond with the boy and teach him to become a man.

Lemonious warned, however, that mothers should note that while there are a number of males in society, a lot of them have not made that leap into manhood, and should be avoided.

Another thing that could influence a child’s perspective on gender issues is what they see and observe via cable.

“So some of these shows that they are watching now on cable are embracing this behaviour as well,” Lemonious explained. “So you as an adult have to determine what it is that you want as appropriate in your home or with your child.”

She said it is very important that the parents sit with the child, discuss and monitor the child’s behaviour, and help to steer him properly before he reaches the teen years.

“If the child is allowed to reach the teen years without the matter being dealt with, you may have some serious problems because it means he has already settled into his role,” she warned.