By the very truth of it,

I care not for you….

I hate you, which I had rather

You felt, than make me boast.

— Shakespeare, Cymbiline II,3

What a strong word hate is, yet it does exist in such abundance and from quarters that you least expect. There are various reasons why people hate, but the one saying that sticks out to me most is, “In time, we hate that which we often fear,” which is also from one of Shakespeare’s plays.

But can you believe that there are men who hate women, and I mean all women? Yes, the word misogyny is given to that state of being, and men who hate women are called misogynists.

When I think of my dear departed mother, my sweet daughter, my wonderful wife, all women with great attributes, and then I think that there are people who could hate them for no other reason but that they are women, it makes me shudder.

And yet, misogynists exist, and in large numbers too. In fact, there are people who are misogynists who aren’t even aware that that they are, and will curse you if you suggest it to them. “Say wha… me hate woman… and me have so much gyal outa street?”

The reality is, misogyny occurs in all societies, and ours is no exception, as you’ll see right after these responses to ‘Partnership protocol’.

Hi Tony,

In the IT world where computers need to communicate with each other, each computer must have a common set of communication rules called a protocol. In relationships, the most important rule or protocol is communication. Many relationships fail because the individuals fail to communicate with each other. It has been said that the best relationship is where the woman speaks and the man listens.

Wickham

Dear Mr Robinson,

Go back to your Bible. It is never good to allow one partner to win arguments all the time. Let me give you a grim reminder. Women are not soft and fair and gentle roses as many of us stupid men are led to believe. Women are bloodthirsty, murderers, kidnappers and robbers who are worse criminals than even the men. So all those men who are going about defending and feeling sorry for women, are in deep trouble. Adam was doing fine all by himself with his lovely animals in the wonderful Garden of Eden until God made the only mistake and created Eve. From then on, sin entered the World.

In First Corinthians, Paul stated that, “It is not good for a man to have sexual relations with a woman.” He stated that a man is better off without a woman. So we need to empower our brothers instead of trying to fill their heads with nonsense such as partnership protocol. Come on.

Courtney

I must confess that I wrote this week’s article all because of what Courtney said in his letter. It was extremely long and would have taken up this entire page, so I just had to pick out some points. It was the closest thing to misogyny that I have seen in a long time, that’s why it spurred me to do some research on the subject. It still boggles my mind to know that there are men who hate women so much that a word was coined to describe it.

But do not believe that it’s a new phenomenon as there are countless stories of misogynists throughout history. In fact, there is a Hindu priest, Pramuka Swami, who had not seen a woman in over 46 years. His entourage would blindfold him if any woman approached.

Even now in modern times there are priests who take vows of celibacy and avoid all contact with women. Extreme religious vows, or misogyny? Well, some of them backslide and seek carnal pleasure on the sly, but that’s another story.

Noted psychologist Sigmund Freud said that all of our problems stemmed from our relationship with our mothers. Who knows? What I do know is that most men love their mothers, but there have been a few cases where men actually hate their mothers and even do them physical harm or even kill them. Is that the ultimate stage of misogyny, and what would bring that on?

A man who hates his mother must also hate all women, for no woman is as close as a mother. Tell a man about his mother and see what happens.

What are the root causes of misogyny though? Experts say that some cases stem from bad experiences with women. Let’s face it, if a man goes through life being put down, rebuffed, ridiculed and insulted by women, chances are he’s going to hate women…. all women. “I can’t stand to see woman, all a dem is wicked and bad and evil.” Once bitten, twice shy, many times bitten, many times shy, and scarred for life.

So anger and resentment are reasons for misogyny, but remember what the other quote said about fear turning into hate. There are misogynists who hate women because they fear them, yet they would never admit to this fear. “Say wha, me fraid a woman…..? Yu is eedeeat.”

But check their actions towards women and you’ll see it. They abuse women at every opportunity, berate them, put them down, beat them, humiliate them at every chance. Deep down there’s a burning hatred, intermingled with a deep fear that manifests itself as misogyny.

The confusion though, is that many of these men have more women than Don Juan or Cassanova. Yet they are misogynists. They are always with women and even have sex with women, but there is no affection, no love, and that sex is laced with anger and borderline abuse. Even the words they use may reflect this…. “Man, I batter a ting last night til she bawl…. mash it up wicked, me tell yu.”

But hold on a minute now, perhaps this misogyny is fuelled by certain aspects of our music, as so many dancehall lyrics speak of rough sex, ramming, slamming, daggering, stabbing a beef and such. Is it art reflecting life or life reflecting art? Whichever came first, it does smack of misogyny or at least latent misogyny.

The truth is, nuff gallis hate women…. yet they’ll deny it, protesting too much in the process, saying that they’re not gay and that they love plenty women… as proof.

Here’s the rub though, being a misogynist doesn’t mean that you’re gay. In fact, many gay men don’t mind the company of women, and I know quite a few who have female best friends. The true misogynist has nothing to do with women at all. They despise them.

In many cases it cannot be helped, as it’s not a conscious decision on their part to treat women like pariahs. For some it’s a genuine condition and they exhibit physical symptoms when they’re around women such as sweating, increased heartbeat, high pulse rate, irregular breathing and sweaty palms. All symptoms of fear. Some men even pee themselves, I’ve heard. They literally fall apart in the presence of women.

The problem could be deep-rooted. Perhaps their mothers abused them when they were young. But how do you explain misogynists who got an abundance of love, care and affection from their mothers? They still grew up not only resenting their mothers, but also poured scorn on any other women who entered their lives. The first time I learnt of a boy beating up his mother I couldn’t believe it. But it did happen; I knew her well, and knew the boy from he was a baby.

Lo and behold, there’s a twist to the misogynist’s tale, as it’s not only men who are misogynists. Women are too, but I can understand that, for many women cannot stand other women. Plus we all heard the saying that anywhere too many women assemble there’s bound to be cass cass and strife.

The worst though, is the closet misogynist, the men who squire and marry women but deep down they hate their wives and all women. You can often tell by the way they speak to their women — rough, crude, disrespectful.

It must be sad being a misogynist…. born of a woman, yet hating all women.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: I have been following the discussions about these highly-paid footballers in Europe who walk off the field when people in the stands chant racist taunts and make monkey sounds aimed at them. At first I was in two minds, for having lived in England for a while I’ve seen the ugly spectacle of racism. But when I think that these footballers, who are paid hundreds of thousands of pounds and euros per week to play football, are going to stop and walk off the field because some idiots taunt them, I have to say… give me a break.

My parents always said that the best way to nullify a taunt is to ignore it. Any boy who attended a high school in my day knew how it felt like to be jived …..teased. Ignore it and it goes away.

Those footballers are privileged beyond their wildest dreams, living lavishly, touring the world, squiring beautiful women who wouldn’t even look at them if they were dirt poor. And yet they allow a few idiots in the stands to get to them. Stamp out racism in sports yes, but use your power and wealth to fight it. Walking off the field only gives the idiots in the stands the victory.