Why your parents probably don’t want you to watch Jamaican Mafia:1.       It’s rated PG 17.

Yup. This movie, pretty much like ALL Jamaican action movies, has it all: violence, expletives, a little nudity here and there. But let’s be honest, would we even accept it to be Jamaican if we didn’t hear certain “Jamaican” words that begin with B?

2.       They don’t want you to join the Mafia.

No doubt your parents heard about the movie already, and they know you. They are concerned that you like these things a little bit too much. So they are doing the only thing that’s written in the Being-A Good-Parent manual: saying no.

3.       They are going to the premiere themselves.What to use to convince them…

This is probably the most accurate reason. They’re hitting up their wannabe gangster friends from work and going to the premiere, and they don’t want you to run into them. Imagine the horror of you catching them doing all the things ‘I wouldn’t do.’ They can’t risk that, so they want you to stay home.

1.       The production quality is awesome!

These Jamaican films have come a long way! Granted, this one wasn’t shot locally, but the ‘Jamaican-ness’ wasn’t lacking at all. For the most part, the audio, shot sizes and angles were on point!

2.       The killer storyline.

Spoiler alert! The movie follows a young man named Zoolian (don’t ask), who basically inherits his slain father’s status as a top man in the Jamaican Mafia. Of course we see all the joys, pains, and fears that come with such a position, and how “Zoo-Zoo” (still don’t ask) adapts to them.

3.       The acting (DWL)

Ok… so this obviously wasn’t cast with the best bunch of actors around, but those unbelievable moments just made the movie all the more fun to watch. And you know that thing where they kinda mix the Jamaican creole with that Yankee accent? I DIED! The narration alone was enough to have me cracking up.

They have some strong actors though. Paul Campbell (Capone in Third World Cop) plays a crucial role in this film. The character “Jankro” (played by Gary “Nardo Ranks” Henderson) is also very strong. Nigerian actor Ras General plays the antagonist, and he does an awesome job.

4.       The soundtrack

Konshens, Vybz Kartel, Buju Banton, Alkaline…. Most of the songs featured in the one hour and 45 minute production are hits right now. This gives the movie a close-to-home feel (and nuff fawud from the audience), despite being filmed in New York.

5.       The After Party

The movie will be aired for the first time in Jamaica on November 27 at Carib 5 (Cross Roads). The ultra-inclusive after party will follow at The Palms right after the show. The actors, local celebrities, and some of the best DJs will be there! Live Jazz will make it a more memorable event.

So, your parents said no? Awww, too bad for you. Mine said yes, so you know I’ll be there. Tell you all about it when I get back!