Dinner conundrum: One large group of friends, too old to go clubbing, too young for early-bird special followed by a card game.

Dinner solution: TAO Asian Bistro, downtown New York.

Gosh, these first-world problems make the struggle so real! We met for drinks beforehand at the Maritime hotel, beneath which the TAO Downtown is nestled like some mystical emperor’s tomb. Once you arrive here, in the party mecca of New York City that is ‘the meat-packing district,’ you’d better have your game face on. So when it was time, we did the power walk over to the entrance of TAO.

For me, the most memorable aspect of TAO is always the entry experience which really sets the stage for the evening. The small, unassuming entrance is manned by bouncers. Upon entering the building you’re immediately engulfed in what I would call ‘mood lighting and mood music on steroids’, but it works! Instantly you feel the atmosphere. It’s one of chic, zen, sophisticated chill with a dose of investment-banker ego sprinkled on top. Yes, I would say it’s a unique combination!

You walk through an extensive hallway and you immediately begin to feel like you’re entering a secret cave. Who knew this lay just beneath the Maritime Hotel?

The wall art, which is is absolutely striking, both upon entry and within the ‘den’ was painted by internationally renowned street artist ‘Hush’ — famous for his unique style of graffiti mixed with traditional painting methods. The combination of everything makes the space feel exotic, sexy, and alive, making you feel that way too. And who doesn’t want a little boost of that on a Saturday night out?

The most unique thing about this space is that when you finally come to the end of this hallway, you arrive in what seems like an enormous, modern Asian den. You know the scene in the movie,

Men in Black when Will Smith opens the locker and there’s this entire world of aliens living in there? That’s what it feels like…but posh! Stairs with burrowed tables descend into a candlelit open space, solidifying the TAO vibe: east meets west with a twist of upper urban.

And…it’s review time!

AMBIENCE/ATMOSPHERE: 4.5 stars. This is the best thing about TAO; the unique atmosphere it offers. Some critics have called it cliché, and I can definitely see why. Some people complain that the 400-seater space is too large. My opinion? If you look for something to complain about, you’ll find it. But if you look for something to appreciate, you’ll find that too. I think TAO offers an interestingly unique experience in New York with much to enjoy. I wouldn’t come here for a romantic evening for two. Nor would I come for an authentic ethnic experience or for absolute culinary excellence. Quite simply, I would come if I want to party while simultaneously having dinner.

I enjoy the mood setting of the music and lighting. The zen décor and vibe are absolutely amazing. There was a projection of moving lotus petals over the ginormous Quan Yin Buddha backdrop. After a few drinks, this is much more mesmerising than it sounds while reading it sober! I really love that everything is served on small plates to be shared, dim sum or tapas style, which gives the group a real feeling of community. I enjoy the feeling of clubbing over dinner! We were literally clapping, belting out 2005 top hits and dancing in our seats while being served (they play sexy zen music early on, then when everyone’s liquored up they give you the feel-good oldies – amazing). It’s a fantastic place to people-watch! Trust-fund babies, finance guys in three-piece suits and their supermodel dates, rappers and everyone in between! It’s a very, very New York experience.

CREATIVITY: 4 stars. They took traditional Asian and put a little twist on it. It wasn’t extensively, overwhelmingly creative, but I thought the tiny spin was just enough to be perfectly enticing. The menu consisted of Drunken Pad Thai with lobster, brandy and cashew or lobster egg rolls, which you don’t usually see and both of which were quite good. Other examples include, Tuna Sashimi with Parmesan, Wagyu Rib-eye Teppanyaki, lobster three-way (tempura, teriyaki, dynamite) amongst many others. There are 146 menu items!

PRESENTATION: 3 stars. Very average. But you’re not really coming for the presentation. Plus, you’re at the bar for usually half-an-hour before you’re seated, so between that, pre-drinks beforehand, music, vibe and more drinks, by the time your meal comes, you won’t really care much about presentation!

FOOD:

4 stars. Let’s get real. Food is not their main attraction here. In fact, I’ll be honest, we had a big group and when someone suggested TAO for practical reasons, I was very unexcited though I knew it was best. New Yorkers generally turn their noses up to these bigger commercial-type spots. But as we all sat there eating, we all agreed that we are always, always surprised by how good the food at TAO is. You don’t expect it. You don’t go for that. But when you start digging in, it’s so enjoyable you’re pleasantly surprised every time!

SERVICE: 2.5 stars. OK by Jamaican standards. I would say poor for New York.

PRICE: 3.5 stars. I would say there’s about a 30% premium when you compare it to your corner NY Asian resto. But what they deliver in value for the experience over your corner spot is a lot more than 30%! Small plates were $10-$20. Mains were $30-$40. Sides were $10.

OVERALL: 4 stars. TAO is what it is. If you try to make it something it’s not, it just won’t be. (As a side note, I think this is a wonderful life perspective in general for everything!) You go to TAO to have a hot mess of a good time, enjoy some cool food and party without being at an actual party. It serves its purpose and it does a heck of a good job doing that! If you have a big group or friends in town, and you just wanna have a good time, without sacrificing the ‘good food’ component, definitely go.