They say too, that she will rather die

Than give any sign of affection….

I will be horribly in love with her.

— Shakespeare,As You Like It, II, 3

Some people always want what they can’t have or like someone who shows them no sign of affection. It often happens that the person who shows very little or no interest in you is the one who you fall head over heels for. At that point they may pitifully look your way and perhaps show a little interest. Who knows? They may even start to like you a little bit. Meanwhile, you fall deeply in love.

But what is the difference between like and love, and can they both co-exist at the same time, in the same space? After all, you have to like the person before you can love them, right? We’ll see more about that.

And if you love them, you also like them too, right? I think not on both counts, for in most cases, people are confused regarding what they feel, mistaking not only like for love, but confusing affection, lust and passion for love also.

Then, after all that confusion, there is the hell of leaving, the final ‘L’ that rocks so many people. “Imagine, after liking, loving, is leave you leaving?”

We’ll go down that path today, right after these foreign and local imports to ‘Foreign mind’.

Hi Tony,

This month is the 40th anniversary of my family and I arriving in Toronto from Kingston, but the island has not been too far from us. I still get together with Jamaican friends at least once a month for an all-day domino session, breaking only for some pumpkin soup, jerk chicken, curry goat and rice and peas. Once a week I go to the West Indian store to get hard dough bread, spiced bun and gizzada. Sweet potatoes, green bananas, oxtail and goat are always there. Patties are to be found at almost every store. Yes, we live Jamaica inna foreign.

Wickham

Toronto, Canada

Tony,

Your article on ‘Foreign mind’ really hit home. Yes, so many of our people prefer to identify with the culture of others, even as they beat down our own. The irony is, almost everyone else adores our culture. Look what happened when President Obama came here. He headed straight to the Bob Marley Museum. And his opening words at the Town Hall Meeting, “Greetings massive; wha a gwaan, Jamaica?”, in our accent, resonated across the world. We must embrace what belongs to us.

Your article on ‘Foreign mind’ really hit home. Yes, so many of our people prefer to identify with the culture of others, even as they beat down our own. The irony is, almost everyone else adores our culture. Look what happened when President Obama came here. He headed straight to the Bob Marley Museum. And his opening words at the Town Hall Meeting, “Greetings massive; wha a gwaan, Jamaica?”, in our accent, resonated across the world. We must embrace what belongs to us.

Carol

“Hey gyal, mi like yu, you nuh.” Those words spew out of the mouths of so many men when they see a woman who they desire. Notice I said desire, and not like, for what they really mean is that they desire the woman and not really like her, for like is a very strong word. Don’t take it lightly.

“Hey gyal, mi like yu, you nuh.” Those words spew out of the mouths of so many men when they see a woman who they desire. Notice I said desire, and not like, for what they really mean is that they desire the woman and not really like her, for like is a very strong word. Don’t take it lightly.

Think about it, how many people do you really like? The fact is most peopleonly develop a modicum of tolerance for other people, but to really like them is another matter completely. “I don’t really like him, but I tolerate his company and appreciate his generosity.”

Think about it, how many people do you really like? The fact is most peopleonly develop a modicum of tolerance for other people, but to really like them is another matter completely. “I don’t really like him, but I tolerate his company and appreciate his generosity.”

A couple will meet and exchange pleasantries, but the initial feelings aren’t always mutual. The man is full of lust, desire, anticipation, while the woman is cautious until she develops trust. Usually she’s the one who starts to like his personality and character first. It’s only after the man’s lust is satiated or abated somewhat that he may start to see her for who she really is and like her.

A couple will meet and exchange pleasantries, but the initial feelings aren’t always mutual. The man is full of lust, desire, anticipation, while the woman is cautious until she develops trust. Usually she’s the one who starts to like his personality and character first. It’s only after the man’s lust is satiated or abated somewhat that he may start to see her for who she really is and like her.

But what is it to like someone? As Shakespeare said, “Aye, there’s the rub.” That’s because it’s more complicated than you may think. To really like someone means that you put up with their faults and have faith in them. You trust them. You also develop a strong tolerance of any idiosyncrasies that they may have and accept them. Almost nothing that the person does will bother you negatively. “Oh, I really really like you.” The question is though, how long can this state last?

But what is it to like someone? As Shakespeare said, “Aye, there’s the rub.” That’s because it’s more complicated than you may think. To really like someone means that you put up with their faults and have faith in them. You trust them. You also develop a strong tolerance of any idiosyncrasies that they may have and accept them. Almost nothing that the person does will bother you negatively. “Oh, I really really like you.” The question is though, how long can this state last?

When you like someone, you also want to be around that person a lot and find yourself missing them when they’re out of sight. “I like the way she smiles, laughs and talks. I really miss her.” Very often that like may turn to love. But that’s not necessarily a good thing, for many couples who used to be friends and liked each other very much, graduated, or perhaps descended to the phase of love. And that’s when the crosses begins.

When you like someone, you also want to be around that person a lot and find yourself missing them when they’re out of sight. “I like the way she smiles, laughs and talks. I really miss her.” Very often that like may turn to love. But that’s not necessarily a good thing, for many couples who used to be friends and liked each other very much, graduated, or perhaps descended to the phase of love. And that’s when the crosses begins.

With love comes the jealousy, the insecurity, the heartache, the passion and pain, the suspicion, the heartbreak. “We were better off when we were friends and used to like each other, for this love brings too much pain.” Even Shakespeare said, “Alas, that love so gentle to his view, should be so tyrannous and rough in proof.” —Romeo and Juliet.

With love comes the jealousy, the insecurity, the heartache, the passion and pain, the suspicion, the heartbreak. “We were better off when we were friends and used to like each other, for this love brings too much pain.” Even Shakespeare said, “Alas, that love so gentle to his view, should be so tyrannous and rough in proof.” —

Romeo and Juliet.

The truth is, when you really like each other and are true genuine friends, you can say almost anything to each other without fear of recrimination. Usually people who are deeply in love cannot do that, as the fear of hurting the other, or of being hurt, is so great. “I love him so much I don’t want to hurt his feelings by telling him what I really think.”

The truth is, when you really like each other and are true genuine friends, you can say almost anything to each other without fear of recrimination. Usually people who are deeply in love cannot do that, as the fear of hurting the other, or of being hurt, is so great. “I love him so much I don’t want to hurt his feelings by telling him what I really think.”

Can like and love exist in the same space? In some cases we hear people say, “I married my best friend and lover.” In other cases we may hear, “I married my best friend’s lover.” But that’s another story. But people who actually like and also love each other are fortunate, for ironic as it may seem, there are couples who actually love each other but do not like each other very much.

Can like and love exist in the same space? In some cases we hear people say, “I married my best friend and lover.” In other cases we may hear, “I married my best friend’s lover.” But that’s another story. But people who actually like and also love each other are fortunate, for ironic as it may seem, there are couples who actually love each other but do not like each other very much.

“I love him as my husband, but I can’t really say that I like him a lot. He has too many bad ways.” As a result, they’re usually critical of their spouse, never saying anything good about them, never seeing any good in them. It swings both ways too, as men will adore and love their wives, but don’t really like them a lot, so they hardly talk.

“I love him as my husband, but I can’t really say that I like him a lot. He has too many bad ways.” As a result, they’re usually critical of their spouse, never saying anything good about them, never seeing any good in them. It swings both ways too, as men will adore and love their wives, but don’t really like them a lot, so they hardly talk.

Proof of this is when men hardly take their wives out with them as her company is not too pleasant. He really doesn’t like to be around her. What an irony! Yet, if one spouse departs it’s plenty bawling and wailing. She loved him, but didn’t really like him a lot. That love was a habit.

Proof of this is when men hardly take their wives out with them as her company is not too pleasant. He really doesn’t like to be around her. What an irony! Yet, if one spouse departs it’s plenty bawling and wailing. She loved him, but didn’t really like him a lot. That love was a habit.

Of course, another L, lust, enters the mix and adds to the confusion. “Man, I can’t stop lusting after her, but I really don’t like her at all. I like when we’re in bed together though.” Women will express it too, saying, “He’s good in bed, but I don’t really like him.” Women, though, being practical beings, are not usually bound by lust or passion in the same way that men are.

Of course, another L, lust, enters the mix and adds to the confusion. “Man, I can’t stop lusting after her, but I really don’t like her at all. I like when we’re in bed together though.” Women will express it too, saying, “He’s good in bed, but I don’t really like him.” Women, though, being practical beings, are not usually bound by lust or passion in the same way that men are.

In so many instances people who used to really like each other start to love each other and then stop liking each other. It’s a paradox that perplexes, persists and pains. Can like and love exist, or does one push the other out of the arena of romance? Why is liking so pleasant, but loving so painful, the poets ask?

In so many instances people who used to really like each other start to love each other and then stop liking each other. It’s a paradox that perplexes, persists and pains. Can like and love exist, or does one push the other out of the arena of romance? Why is liking so pleasant, but loving so painful, the poets ask?

I have heard people say that love hurts, but I have never heard anyone say that liking hurts. Still, many people will say that they love, but in truth don’t even know what they’re feeling. Maybe they’re simply feeling comfortable and secure with their partner and mistake it for love. Perhaps they want to possess the other person, fulfil a need to belong, have them like a security blanket, father figure or mother figure, and mistake it for love.

I have heard people say that love hurts, but I have never heard anyone say that liking hurts. Still, many people will say that they love, but in truth don’t even know what they’re feeling. Maybe they’re simply feeling comfortable and secure with their partner and mistake it for love. Perhaps they want to possess the other person, fulfil a need to belong, have them like a security blanket, father figure or mother figure, and mistake it for love.

But if you truly love, you should also like, and liking someone means wanting the best for them. The old saying goes, ‘If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it’s yours; if it doesn’t, it never was.’ But I say, if you love someone, like them also, let them be free to be themselves. Like, love, leave… the three Ls.

But if you truly love, you should also like, and liking someone means wanting the best for them. The old saying goes, ‘If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it’s yours; if it doesn’t, it never was.’ But I say, if you love someone, like them also, let them be free to be themselves. Like, love, leave… the three Ls.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: The Christmas season is now officially over and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I must admit that it’s my favourite time of year and usually my better half and I have Christmas dinner at the Terra Nova all day brunch. It’s quite an experience and I must say, absolutely divine. Not only was the food exquisite and nuff, but it was done to perfection and the service was beyond excellent.

The atmosphere and camaraderie gave the feeling of one big family. Even so, we saw a gentleman dining all by himself. Christmas can be a lonely time for some.

The atmosphere and camaraderie gave the feeling of one big family. Even so, we saw a gentleman dining all by himself. Christmas can be a lonely time for some.

Still it was great being among my Jamaican people. I must commend Mrs Wynter and her staff for providing a world-class, first-class experience once again. Just imagine, folks, no all day preparation and washing up afterwards. We love it.

Still it was great being among my Jamaican people. I must commend Mrs Wynter and her staff for providing a world-class, first-class experience once again. Just imagine, folks, no all day preparation and washing up afterwards. We love it.