The voice of parents

Is the voice of gods,

For to their children

They are Heaven’s lieutenants.

— Shakespeare

There was a time when being a parent was something special, a privilege, a great honour. Children listened to them when they spoke and their words were not questioned. The voice of parents is the voice of gods, as the quote said. That’s heavy, and was so very true, back in the day.

I remember the first time I became a parent as I watched the birth of my daughter. It was such a special day. Then when my son was born they wouldn’t let me into the delivery room as he arrived via caesarean section, but that day was no less special. My life was changed forever. No longer was I responsible just for myself, but for two other human beings.

I recall looking to my parents for sage advice, comfort, knowledge, reassurance and security. To us children, they really were, as the Bard said, Heaven’s lieutenants. Whatever parents said was the law and obeyed without question, and children were better off for it.

Not so now, with the new dispensation of parenthood, where children back chat and challenge their parents and have no respect for authority. Now you cannot tell who is the parent and who is the child.

Suddenly, there has been a shift in the balance of power and parents no longer hold the upper hand but are almost second-class persons in their own homes.

Parents, that’s who we’ll be checking out today, right after these fertile responses to ‘Breeders choice’.

Hi Tony,

I would guess that the segment with the highest breeders rate might be the women with low or no income and therefore cannot afford birth control and have little choice, while the men doing the breeding do so without any protection. All they care about is the pleasure that the act provides. If men felt the burden and pain of pregnancies, there would be less breeding.

Sharon

Ah Teerob,

You really know how to call a spade a spade and hit the nail on the head. It’s a sad fact that women from the lower socio economic strata of society tend to breed more than the other sectors. Young women not yet 25 having four or five children for as many different men are not uncommon, yet this serious issue is hardly addressed, so they continue to breed and be a burden not only to themselves, but to society. Clovis’ cartoon depicting the woman with one child in the hand, one on the ground and one in the belly typically sums it up. But if we talk about it we are criticised for being classist. Speak the truth, brother.

Horace

Once up on a time, being a parent was a privilege, a joy, a gift to be appreciated. “Hey, you have you first child, you is a big man now.” With that came great responsibility, for it is the duty of the parent to see to it that the child grows up in the right and proper way.

The right and proper way, pray tell, what is that? Well, it meant showing the children the difference between right and wrong, guiding them to obey the tenets and mores of society, being truthful, not stealing and most importantly, showing respect to their elders.

Now, how can this be if the parent has no clue about those guidelines? How can the blind lead the blind?

To do all that though, the children had to obey their parents, and even from the days of yore, Shakespeare had advice regarding this. “Obey thy parents, keep thy word justly: swear not, commit not with man’s sworn spouse, set not thy sweet heart on proud array, keep thy foot out of brothels, thy pen from lender’s books.”

Wow, now that’s profound, and almost waxes biblical like a mini version of the 10 commandments, but aimed more at children, imploring them to obey their parents. Sadly, that has fallen on deaf ears, plus the parents themselves no longer believe in those rules.

But to obey, one has to first respect, and it’s a sad fact that parents are losing that battle with their children. Respect and obedience do not mean a loss of love, yet many parents think that all three cannot be achieved.

So instead of instilling discipline and, by extension, gaining respect from their children, they want to be their friends. They simply allow the child to do whatever he or she wants to do, for if they are chastised, the belief is, they won’t love them anymore. “I’m afraid that if I discipline her too much or deprive her of any privilege, she will hate me.”

Naturally, the modern adults will rant away about how discipline should be administered in these new times and how that Bible quote about sparing the rod and spoiling the child was taken out of context and that children have rights too and horse dead and cow fat.

The irony is, because of all this modern-day book learning about parenting, parents have very little rights nowadays and in certain societies parents are arrested for the slightest infraction against their children, real or imagined. As a result, children have been known to call the cops on their parents.

We have sown the wind and are reaping the whirlwind as the children are now out of control and we are suffering the consequences. Do not, for one moment, think that children were just born and turned out to be rotten rascals, bereft of discipline. Oh no, they are products of their environment, little horrors unleashed on society, and the parents, to a large extent, are to be blamed.

Do you think for one moment I could back chat my parents, disobey my father, be rude to my mother? The thought wouldn’t even cross my mind. We grew up with the tenet of respect instilled in us, not fear.

Yet so many parents nowadays allow their children to heap disrespect on them, as if they’re shovelling manure, and they see nothing wrong with it.

“Oh, I have to give him room to express himself.”

“She’s so spirited, has a mind of her own, I can’t tell her a thing.”

“It’s not backchat, he’s just being opinionated, just telling it as he sees it.”

These are the things that many parents say about their little rascals, as they unwittingly sow the seeds of disrespect. Even now, adult that I am, I still address my elders, my aunts and uncles as Aunt Amy, Uncle Vernal and such. That’s the respect that was instilled in us.

“My father’s wit, my mother’s tongue, assist me,” said Shakespeare. I can never understand how a parent can allow their children so much leeway, so much latitude, even from they are toddlers, that after a while they totally lose respect for their elders. The way that I hear some children speak to their parents, makes me cringe. It’s totally alien to me. What’s worse is that the parents see nothing wrong with it.

“Oh, I can’t do a thing with him, I can’t manage him at all.”

Three years old, and she can’t manage him. Imagine what happens when he gets to 16?

What was once cute at age four is now downright disrespectful at age 12, so by extension, these children take the brutish behaviour out into general society and voilà! we see the result. They think that they can treat other people with the same disrespect that they mete out to their parents. All adults are targets — teachers, police, any adult in their sight, all fair game to their disrespect.

When I did wrong, my mother put the belt to me. When I transgressed, my father grounded me, put me under house arrest. I never ever felt any resentment towards them and loved them unconditionally until the day they died.

We were taught to respect our elders, we couldn’t bring home anything from school that wasn’t ours, couldn’t be caught in a lie, had to be home by a certain time. We were brought up in the proper way by parents, who knew how to parent.

No way would my mother march down to school to admonish teachers for disciplining me. In fact, I had to hide the fact that I was disciplined, as I would certainly get part two when I went home.

Now the experts talk and talk with their superfluous breath, prattling their platitudes and the children hear, and they smile, for they realise that there is no consequence for their actions, and they have free rein on society. And worse is to come. Did someone say ‘leggo beasts?’ Nah, we must have heard wrong. It should be careless parents.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: Listen, the way is now clear. If you want to catch a man, tie him to you. There soon will be a legal way. If you want the right oils to bind a woman to you that she will love you forever, never leave you, there is a way. If you covet another person and you want evil and misfortune to befall them, the dark door of necromancy will soon be legally open to exact such punishment. Seek out the right sources to make your enemies sick, let their limbs wither and their health fail. Occultism and dark spirits shall do thy bidding. Kill the white fowl, sprinkle the blood, then put the bullfrog with the padlocked mouth in the courthouse. Haiti has its voodoo, the Indians here advertise their swami spiritualism, so now we let loose obeah on the land.