O, Father Abbot,

An old man broken with the storms of state,

Is come to lay his weary bones among ye,

Give him a little earth for charity.

— Shakespeare, Henry VIII, IV, 1

Yeah man, have pity on the old dude, as he’s way past his prime and now retired. Re-tired…to be tired again. “Retired you say, never, for I will work until I drop.” So say many Jamaicans as they don’t really give in to the notion of retirement. As far as they are concerned, they will work until they are way past a hundred years old.

“Retired means retirement home and I’m not ready for that,” is what they declare. And who better to set the example of never retiring but our very own ageing politicians, some of whom are way into their ninth decade, which, if my math serves me right, makes them fast approaching 90 years old.

So with that example set, the die has been cast for other Jamaicans to stay in the workforce until the cows come home, until dem sun dem, as the sayings go. Despite all the talk about the revised age for retirement, many of our people do not see it as an option and will continue to work until all their body functions cease. At least they would like to.

Retired, put out to pasture, hanging up your boots, never working again. “Oh no, retired, please no, not me.” We’ll see what joys that brings, right after these catcalls responding to ‘Psst’ and ‘The Good Wife’.

Hi Tony,

I think that the catcall varies depending on the caller and the recipient and the status in life of both. A corporate executive would not catcall, no matter the station of the recipient, while a construction worker would not hesitate to catcall, no matter the station of the woman. The status of the woman will often determine the level of disappointment or appreciation. The high society woman would disappoint while most walk-foot women would appreciate. Then there are the others who pretend to be offended.

Carol

Hail Teerob,

I feel like I hit the jackpot with my wife. We’ve been married for 14 years and been together for 19 years and I’m still a happy man. My wife made me promise one thing — never cheat on her as it would destroy her confidence. Well, I kept that promise, even though I’ve had invitations from some very beautiful ladies, but none more beautiful than her, inside or out. The fact that she trusts me makes me stronger. I take great pleasure in cooking for her and we spend lots of quality time together. Respect, honesty, compassion, communication are our bond.

Dane

I know a few folks who have retired, and they aren’t taking it well at all. The first person close to me who I was privy to see retire was my late father. This was a man who was a pioneer, first in the railway industry and then in broadcasting in Jamaica.

MG Robinson was a stalwart in the early years of electronic media in Jamaica. He and others trailblazed the industry to make it a force not only here, but in the region. First RJR and then JBC were where he made his mark as he worked tirelessly for many years. My father was always working and I can’t even remember him taking vacations. Even now I still benefit from his name.

Then one day he retired. This was a man who worked tirelessly for all his adult life, only to stop abruptly one day, put out to pasture, sent home. It was not a pleasant experience for him as he was a man with a brilliant mind and fertile thoughts.

So he channelled his productivity elsewhere, but the cloud of retirement still loomed over his head and it made me sad to watch this brilliant man be relegated to the position of retiree. I taught him to use the computer when he was 82 years old and he mastered it within a few weeks and wrote his memoirs.

That was an abject lesson for me, watching my father retire. But perhaps that is the cycle of life that we should all accept. Or should we? I have also seen friends of mine retire at the prescribed age and they do not take it very well. Some voiced this to me openly: “Teerob, after working for so many years I’m not taking this retirement thing very well at all.”

The very thought of waking up one morning with no work to drive to, no staff to communicate with, no meetings to attend, nothing to produce, is anathema to people who are still productive.

Oh, if only they could take a page out of some of our politicians’ books and never retire, ever. “Imagine, being able to work until I’m 85 years old…what a joy.” But perhaps those politicians are special and live the life of Dorian Gray, or Peter Pan, never growing old, immersed in the fountain of youth, never to retire, but work until their last days on Earth.

That being said, there are people who actually look forward to retirement, as they relish the idea of going home, cocking up their feet and watching the grass grow. I do know a few people like that, much younger than me, who simply retired, went home and faded into obscurity. Perhaps they were lazy from morning, or maybe they just didn’t give a hoot about working one more day of their lives. Whatever the reason, they just left the office, bade the staff farewell, went home and were never seen or heard from again.

I also have a few friends in foreign who retired and are now having the time of their lives as they tour the world, living the life of Riley as they post their adventures on social media for all to see. Paris, Rome, Istanbul, Barcelona, are their playgrounds. A hefty pension from foreign can ease the trauma of retirement and make it a fun venture.

Speaking of pension, those retirees who get a good pension can count their lucky stars as it will tide them over for their remaining years. But that lump sum cash and monthly stipend can also attract some unsavoury people who see it as a windfall for them also. More than once I’ve seen pensioners suddenly have new lady friends who wish to share in the new found largesse. These women have a penchant for pensioners and will go through that money faster than you can say high maintenance.

“What a lucky man, the moment he retired and got his pension he also got a brand new young girlfriend.”

As for the ordinary schmuck, being retired is no fun, as for one, his or her income is now fixed, and there is not much wiggle room to do the things that make life palatable. Retirement is now another word for survival. The paltry pension and slim savings will have to suffice for the rest of the years to come. And pray that no costly unexpected expenses fall on their heads.

The irony and perhaps tragedy of retirement are that people are living longer nowadays, so after retiring at 60, people can still live way up in their 80s, that’s 20 years more with nothing to do. Not a pretty picture for some who equate it to a prison sentence but with no hard labour, no labour at all.

“At least if I was in prison I may get hard labour and be productive,” one retired man said to me. Another woman told me, “I am retired and bored out of my skull with nothing to do.” And imagine that there are people who have never worked a day in their lives, retired from the day they were born and couldn’t care less. Productive people who retire though, will take on almost anything, always seeking something to do. “I’m retired, I’m not old or cold, give me something to do.”

For some people, retirement is a relief, for others it sounds a death knell. That’s why some people will never retire.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: Many sports personalities refuse to retire until they’re way past their prime, and that can lead to embarrassment when they take to the field. Speaking of sports, I saw where a schoolboy footballer left school, played Premier League football here, went away on a trial for a big overseas football club, then returned home to be readmitted in school to play football. Why do these young men or their handlers give in to the glory of schoolboy sports and don’t know when to leave? What next, a married bearded ‘young’ man may be asked to return to school for one more season? Still on football, I have seen where some of the home fields are so atrocious that not even goats would walk on them as there is nothing but dirt and gravel with not even one blade of grass, endangering our young athletes. This should be addressed.