Let’s be honest, sometimes what ruins a relationship

is not family or friends, it’s us. We can do bad all by ourselves and we seem

to do it with gusto. If we are not careful we become the architects of our own

demise by cultivating a mentality of negativity coupled with low self-esteem.

From this, even if we are treated well, we

subconsciously do not believe it’s deserved and we sit around waiting for

something bad to happen. And if it doesn’t happen, we create it.

Self-sabotage can happen when we have past trauma that

fills us with doubt and it eventually filters down into various aspects of our

lives. Sometimes you hear people that ‘She/he is too negative’ so they avoid

being around that particular person. Ask yourself do I self-sabotage? And if

you do, what are some tell-tale signs to look for so you can try to correct it

before it is too?

Here are 10 ways see may sabotage our relationships

unknowingly:

1. Talk

negatively about yourself: Stop, no one wants to hear it.

2. Talk trash

about others: Simply put, you sound bitter which is not attractive in the

least

3. Nit-pick at your

partner: Learn when to back up and let them just breathe

4. Constantly

bring up the past: You cannot go back and change it so release it and move

on.

5. Tell your

mate that they would be better off with someone else: One fine day, they

may believe you and cut.

6. Downplay your

strengths and highlight flaws: A sure-fire recipe for disaster.

7. Compare yourself

to others:  The death knell of many a

relationship as it is fuelled by insecurity.

8. Compare your

partner to past boyfriends/girlfriends: Don’t, just don’t.

9. You stop

doing the things that first attracted them to you: It doesn’t have to be

sexual, and usually isn’t. But don’t let that spark burn out.

10. Constantly

too tired for intimacy: If every night you turn your back to him, one day

he is going to turn his back on you – permanently!