You’re pretty…for a black girl!
Too many black women and girls have heard these words
uttered at some point in their lives, resulting in either cringes, shock or a
quick retort.
It is kind of the ultimate backhanded insult to level
at a dark skin woman and, ironically, the men who say it usually dispense it
like a compliment. For most, they think they are celebrating you and your
beauty.
The reason some men do not see a problem with that
statement is because in their eyes being black or dark-skinned is a burden;
something to be either ashamed of or carried around like a cross. In their
minds, black is akin to hardship so having darker skin means that your life is
harder and more dismal or pathetic than everyone else’s.
The
comment is one of those preconceived stereotypes that people bandy about. Telling
a woman that she is pretty for a black girl could mean that, in past, he has
not found other black girls particularly attractive. It actually says more
about him than he realises because it can imply that he does not usually look
at or date individuals who look like you, but has decided to make an exception.
The
statement more or less translates as, “Black girls are generally not considered
pretty. Most are unattractive but since you look better than the average black
girl, you are better than average. Your looks are acceptable.” It is disheartening
to see that in 2020 we still have issues with colour and people still subscribe
to the philosophy that ‘white is right’.
Black
is beautiful. Period! There is no conditionality or clause to it. There is
beauty in every race but the myriad of shades, hues and tones available and
created in the black race makes us so unique, so extraordinary, so special that
we often do not stop long enough to soak it in and embrace it. It should never
be “You are beautiful for a black girl”, but rather “You are so beautiful.”
Full stop.