You have been together for a while and the relationship is pretty much now on cruise control with no major issues … except one. Your mate is insistent that you should hand over your phone and they be allowed to go through it.

Now after you

regain your bearings, you realise that they were not joking and intend to browse

through your personal property.

Naturally, this

will be a huge problem as that will not happen in most relationships, and for

good reasons. Your phone is not theirs to demand access to whenever they feel

like it. Firstly, going through someone’s phone, whether they do it sneakily, or

strong-arm them into giving it up, is a huge relationship grenade. They are basically

blowing up the sanctity of the union because what it signals is they do not

trust you or take you at your word. Best believe, that when people start digging,

they will find what they’re looking for, and it will not be easy to handle.

Most people who

make such demands have deep-rooted trust issues that generally have nothing to

do with what is happening in their present relationship. Chances are that if

you ask them to let you do the same thing, which would only be fair, they would

object or have an issue with it – the hypocrisy of the situation.

If browsing someone’s

phone was not agreed upon at the initial stages of the relationship, then they

cannot make it a deal breaker. You have to trust your partner until you have

solid evidence or reason not to. Searching through a phone will not bring you peace

of mind if the mind is by nature a suspicious one. Instead, examine what is at

the root of the emotional vulnerability so that it prevents your mate suffering

for your personal insecurity.