KINGSTON, Jamaica — Nausea, vomiting, and a growing baby bump are a few of the physical indicators to identify an expectant mother. However, what is not often seen is the emotional turmoil that many women face as a result of bringing a baby into the world.

According to Tamiann Young, founder of Young Mummy Diaries, the experiences faced by women during the nine months of being pregnant are heavily influenced by their support systems and the environment that they live in.

“You may have a woman who is living with a lot of support at home, who by extension, has a really great environment within which she lives and it is conducive to welcoming a baby; everybody is excited and they all want to be a part of it. As a result, every step of the way she has that support,” Young said.

“Flip the script and there is a female who is living in deplorable conditions, who is pregnant, and does not have the support of her spouse and who does not have basic financial support for herself much less for the child that she will now be carrying.”

Young said that these two women will have vastly different experiences during their pregnancies which could also differ for a woman who has had issues with getting pregnant and carrying a baby to full-term.

She also pointed out that other than the special cases, there are always certain worries that arise for every woman once she finds out that she is pregnant. These include hoping that she has a good pregnancy and that the baby will be healthy as she goes through each trimester.

For many women, news of their pregnancy is not announced until after the first trimester.

“I recall when I was in my first trimester I just wanted to get through because the first trimester is like ticking a box and that in itself can bring on a lot of mental strain – there is always uncertainty. All these developmental milestones that you check on can be very nerve-wracking and of these happen to a woman while she is working [which is the case] for most women and- for those who had children before- while taking care of another child or tending to a family,” Young explained.

Young explained that women tend to mask that all may not be well with them emotionally and mentally as they are often led to believe they are nurturers and should be able to do it all.

This pressure, Young said, can be a very mentally and physically draining process, especially when other hormonal imbalances come into play that makes what should be a beautiful experience uncomfortable.

In this case, her recommendation is for those around expectant mothers to show a little empathy and start a conversation about the realities of a pregnant woman.

“It is more than giving her a seat on the bus, it is more than holding some bags for her. It is knowing that she is literally, constantly hoping and holding on to faith that this will work out in her favour,” Young explained.

“One of the ways toward creating a space or alleviating some of these self-inflicting and natural realities that women face mentality throughout their pregnancy would include first simply having very vulnerable and honest conversations that will allow us to normalise how intense pregnancies can be on women,” she added.

“Then the men and women among us who have not yet had a child or aren’t even interested in having children will have a level of empathy along the lines of what could happen.”

Young also recommended policy changes that would see women having more time at home with their babies, instead of rushing back to work prematurely after their three-month maternity leave has expired.

“I see this a lot in the European countries and even places like Canada, where I believe you can get up to one year of maternity leave. What that country is saying to that mother is ‘I value the role of your pregnancy and the role of rearing your child past a couple of months’,” Young said.

She highlighted that spending more time with their mother will produce well-adjusted children who will go on to create a better society. She referenced the recommendation that children be completely breastfed for the first six months of their life and noted that Jamaica’s three-month maternity leave policy is not enough, especially in this regard.

“How can we in countries like Jamaica be okay with three months off for a woman who just gave life-changing birth to another human being who requires nurturing of up to six months? You are cheating her of three months of nurture… and then we are wondering at the quality of children that we are turning out which starts in utero up to the first five years of life – which is what has been proven to shape a child,” Young disclosed.

As for fathers, their role in a woman’s pregnancy is very important. Young’s recommendation is for him to be tolerant of the expectant mother and what her body and mental health may be going through.

She added that this tolerance comes easier if the man was taught from an early age about the changes a female’s body goes through from the time she starts her menstrual cycle.

“Teaching the truths of what our bodies go through is important to our men. We need to start teaching our boys that their sisters and mothers actually go through something every single month and they need to be mindful so that they become more empathetic to the women around them and therefore more helpful as well,” Young said.

“I feel this is the type of conversation that leads to an appreciation for pregnancy. If we do this from very early with our boys, as they (boys) grow older they already have an idea that for the females around them there are times when she needs a little bit more allowances given and they should do just that. Not to scoff at us, but to support us,” she stated.

There are always uncertainties with pregnancies but Young believes that if everyone plays their role correctly and the mother has a little faith, women could experience easier pregnancies and have fewer anxieties.

She, however, pointed out that after the baby is born, another set of worries will be created.