COMING of age refers to the period of transition when a person moves from the innocence of childhood to the maturity of adulthood. In some cultures that happens at a certain age; in others there’s a biological physical marker of adulthood, and still others allow the individual to decide on when they’re ready to make the transition.

What was your coming of age moment from girl to woman? These women share.

Liz, 40:

It was having a baby at 16. Not only did I become a mother, I had to finish school while working, act as a parent, pay bills, and over the next several years, mature and grow along with my daughter. It was fast, unexpected and brutal, but I credit the experience for making me the woman I am today.

Melanie, 46:

My mother died when I was 14, and as the oldest, I had to become a woman and help my dad with the other kids. There wasn’t even time for mourning or feeling sorry for myself, I just had to take on the responsibility, to ensure that everybody was OK. It wasn’t a situation where I had to give up my freedom or education or anything like that — it was more of an unsaid expectation that I would have to be mature, because I was the eldest.

Plum, 30:

At 17 my mom sent me to finish school abroad, with my aunt. Before then my mother had done everything for me, but in the US I had to be working part time, and navigating a system that was in every way, including culturally, different from what I was used to. I had to grow up, and in that first year learnt everything — from cane-rowing my own hair to shopping for feminine products myself, taking the train, budgeting, and just preparing to be a woman, without my mother’s constant presence.

Yvonne, 37:

Having my first love die in a crash, to be honest. I was 19, and pretty carefree, and nothing could faze me. Having him die tested everything — including my faith — and I immediately matured. I realised that life was promised to no one, and pain wasn’t specific to any one person. I also realised that I wasn’t untouchable, or as brave as I thought. It was rough, but it was the catalyst for all the other experiences I would have in my life.