And why not death, rather than living torment?

To die is to be banished from myself;

And Sylvia is myself;

Banished from her is self from self;

A deadly banishment!

— Shakespeare

That guy in that quote above more than hints about preferring to die rather than live, all because of a woman named Sylvia. Believe it or not, that happens all the time, and is one of the leading reasons that people kill themselves.

“Oh, I can’t live without you, my life is meaningless; I’d rather die than not have you in my life.”

Yes, it does happen, and both genders are culpable, although many times when the man does it, he often does away with the woman first, adding to the murder/suicide statistics.

Self-inflicted pain and death is nothing new, although it does seem to have taken on a new life nowadays. Is that an oxymoron, suicide taking on a new life, or just a cruel irony?

Nevertheless, it’s more and more in the news nowadays, with suicide being the leading cause of death among Americans in the 10 to 24 age group. What would make so many young people in the land of plenty, self-inflict death upon themselves?

Here in Jamaica we’re nowhere near those figures, not even close, as suicide doesn’t rank high on our methods of departing the mortal coil, but still, there seems to be an increase.

We’ll see the why, how and where, right after these self-inflicted scribblings in response to what I had to say about ‘Losing the shine’.

Hi Tony,

Those who grow old together never lose the shine. The ball may lose some of the shine, get scuffed and no longer feel smooth, but regardless, to the couple growing old together they do not need a new shiny ball. The old ball still feels as good as new. The worn hands have got accustomed to the worn ball and adept at the slow bowled ball. The couple does not see the wrinkles, and the naked bodies still appear as sexy and inviting as they were in their youth. The shine is not lost.

Samuel

Hello Teerob,

We just have to accept when the shine is gone from the ball and resign ourselves to a slow, tepid, dull, listless game that never seems to end. Men can easily seek out a new shiny ball to play with, but sadly, a woman of a certain age has no such luxury. When the shine goes from the relationship, we just have to pull up stumps and call it a day.

Carmen

Everyone leaves this life eventually; nobody gets out alive, and as the saying goes, “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.” Well, that is only partially true, for there are people who do want to die. Some may secretly harbour the thoughts, wish for it without actually carrying it out, while others self-inflict their demise.

In ancient times, men would use swords or knives to inflict mortal wounds upon themselves, and indeed, the Japanese are famous for committing Hari-kiri or seppuku, which is the ritual disembowelment with a short sword, while a second person uses a long sword to decapitate, just to make sure. Really dramatic.

Some people get even more creative, as there are monks of certain eastern sects who douse themselves with a flammable liquid and set their bodies on fire, oftentimes in public. Immolation, bright, fiery, hot and also dramatic.

Some men will hang themselves from yonder tree or beam, while others depart by drowning. Of note though, is the Jamaican saying, “Man who born to hang can’t drown.” Others simply climb to a high point and jump to their death.

Women tend to self-inflict their departure in less dramatic fashion, by using pills, such as an overdose of prescription drugs or sleeping pills and just drift off to the other side.

One very dramatic way, sometimes perpetrated by men in the USA is death by cop, where the man confronts police officers and dares them to shoot him. They usually do not need great persuasion.

The fact is, suicide is traumatic all around, and especially for those left behind who are destined to contemplate why, why, why.

“When someone commits suicide, two persons die,” is what has been said.

Sometimes it’s more than two, as entire families suffer forever.

Sometimes reasons are given in the form of a note, but often, none is left, making many wonder if it was self-inflicted or not.

“No sah, him wudden kill himself, him was always laughing and joking all the time.”

That’s another irony, for so many wealthy, famous people — actors, singers, musicians, comedians — take their own lives by self-inflicted methods. The experts say that it’s often brought on by depression, as the person sees no way out of the doldrums.

“I feel so low, so depressed all the time, my life is not worth living.”

That state of depression can be hidden, a silent killer just like hypertension, and as Smokey Robinson sang in The Tracks of My Tears:

‘People say I’m the life of the party, ’cause I tell a joke or two,

although I might be laughing loud and hearty,

deep inside I’m blue.’

As pointed out earlier, some people decide to end it because their partner wants out of the relationship. It’s mostly women who do that though, for I hardly hear of men committing suicide because their woman left them.

In the main though, they usually take the woman’s life instead, but also take their own afterwards in the deadly dance of destruction. In those instances, is the man suffering from depression, or is he simply caught up in a jealous rage that causes him to self-inflict mortal wounds upon himself?

Sometimes people get passed over for a job and prefer not to live.

“The suicidal thought crossed his mind more than once because he didn’t get the promotion that he thought he deserved.”

Shame is also a great motivator to bring on self-inflicted departure, as many would rather die than live with the shame of something that they did. That reason is not very popular here, for word on the street is that Jamaicans have no shame, and will lie, steal, swindle, scam, cheat and get caught and not feel any remorse, guilt or shame.

People won’t even resign from jobs when caught red-handed, much less take their own lives. There are Americans who get exposed in sex tapes and kill themselves because of the shame and scandal. Not so here, as most Jamaicans who are exposed in sex tapes feel no shame about it, as it’s only nine days’ news. People will watch, speak about it, but forget it after a while as a new video goes viral.

In fact, those sex tapes sometimes boosts a man’s reputation and as for the woman, it’s no big thing, as they’re back in the spotlight as if nothing happened. Many American children who are bullied at school commit suicide. Just recently, this 14-year-old girl took her own life because her schoolmates beat her, and the video of the assault went viral.

I haven’t heard of any Jamaican child committing suicide because of bullying. In fact, I have had parents take their children to my karate class because they were bullied in school. After a few weeks of training in self-defence, the bullying stopped dramatically.

Some American children even commit suicide because of rumours that were spread on social media about them.

Very often, people do not have the courage to do themselves in, although one school of thought says that it takes more courage to face the situation rather than commit suicide. Some say that suicide is the coward’s way out.

“He couldn’t face the music so he did himself in…coward.”

But at times one can understand why someone would go that route, as in the case of people who have suffered terrible illness and just cannot cope, or someone who is very old and does not want to be a burden anymore.

Who remembers Dr Kevorkian aka Dr Death, who advocated assisted suicide for people who were terminally ill and didn’t wish to exist any longer but could not self-inflict to hasten their departure?

He was very popular at one time in the USA at the height of his practice as he assisted many people over to the other side. A movie was even made about him. You may frown on it, but I ask you, if you became a quadruple amputee or had a terribly disfiguring terminal illness, would you not seek a way out? And yet, there are people who suffer from what I just mentioned and still want to live.

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.” — Juliet Lewis, American actress.

“Hope is a necessity for normal life, and the master weapon against the suicide impulse.” — Karl A Menninger.

“Write something, even if it’s just a suicide note,” — Gore Vidal.

Jamaica is seeing an uptick in suicides with policemen often at centre stage. Life’s stresses can take its toll, but we must not be too judgemental on those who self-inflict, even though it’s perceived to be a very selfish act, as it leaves those behind to suffer, sometimes forever.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: I am so elated, thrilled, as I’m just wrapping up and finally completing a video documentary about comedian and national treasure, our very own Oliver Samuels. It’s been a long time in the making, but I must say that I can’t recall enjoying working on a video project so much as I have while doing this one. It’s really been a pleasure to work with all the theatre people and others who have interacted with Oliver over the years, and also with people whose lives he has made a great impact on. Look out for it, you’ll be thoroughly entertained and also surprised at the revelations of our comedic genius. Oliver is truly large indeed.