All of us should love and forgive one another. Are you foolish to keep loving your man or woman? Should I stay with him like a fool? Everybody knows that your husband has another woman on the side. Your friends, your neighbours, people at the workplace chat, ridicule, and laugh at you. When that happens, we should kneel and look at the crucified and wounded Christ. We should look at our own sins, our own lust and other temptations; we are hurt, we are bruised we are disappointed; our own husband or wife has let us down.

Dialogue! Dialogue! Tell him or her how you are hurt, how he has disgraced and humiliated you. If he says he is sorry and begs forgiveness, should you forgive him? Even if he doesn’t ask for forgiveness or accept that he has been doing wrong, should you forgive him? Shouldn’t you tell him to get out of the house?

On your side, being the offended one, should you immediately think of divorce? No! Think of the three children that you have, look at the tears in their eyes, think of them without you, the mother, or he, the father. Should they grow up with only one parent? There is nothing more heart-breaking for children than to be raised with only one parent. The child believes he or she is not loved by the absent mother or father. What does the child tell his/her schoolmates? My mother or my father doesn’t love me?

We must look upon the head, the hands, the feet and the side of the bleeding Christ. We must sacrifice our feelings, our shame and our ridicule for the children, or the husband or wife who has forsaken you. Weep, yes weep, but do not splinter your family. (Matthew 19:8-9 )

The Pharisees ask: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause or whatever?” He said in reply, “have you not read that from the beginning the creator made them male and female”. And said, “For this reason a man should leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Therefore, what has God joined together, no human being must separate.”

Natural law does not allow for divorce; temporary separation happens but it is very rare. So frequent in our time, in our western world, divorce is encouraged and easily granted. It is even considered normal for a country like the United States where there is a high rate of divorce. Even in the Catholic Church in the United States 70 per cent of wedded people are divorced and many young people live together, but separate after a short time.

In the rich, advanced countries in Europe, such as France, Spain, England, Germany and Japan, etc, divorce is normal and expected. There is a tremendous amount of heartbreak, uncertainty and lack of confidence in each other among couples. There is little commitment between mother and father, husband and wife, thus there is less and less marriages.

In ancient cultures there is more stability in family life than the more civilised and wealthy modern countries. There is a natural law, a human instinct, mental and emotional that finds divorce repulsive and unacceptable. Whether it be Africa, China, India, Indonesia, Poland or the Ukraine, people are repelled by the thought of divorce.

The results of divorce are too inhuman and unhappy. In the Philippines, a nation of 115 million people, divorce is illegal yet they are happy. They have been rated in magazines as the happiest country in the world, though poor.

Jamaica! Jamaica! I weep for you my island, sweet Jamaica. There are some common-law marriages but actual marriages are few, and separation and divorce are common. Men have many different women and women have many different men. The women are stable in keeping the children. The lack of love and permanent relationships is high and has led us to be an insecure and unstable people. Commitment in adult relationships is a rarity.

Love solves all. We must be patient, we must be kind, we must have family life, we must be a faithful people to one another, we must love and forgive, we must die to ourselves and our feeling of hurt and embrace each other. The Christian faith calls for a sacrificial love and a divine love not merely a human love. We must be like God and not merely human. We must remember that, “to sin is human to forgive is divine.”

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