Shorn Hector had always envisioned being a dad, particularly a girl dad. So when he welcomed his daughter Zola-Renee into the world two years ago, it was the happiest day of his life.

The excited first-time dad told Observer Online that becoming a father is everything he thought it would be, and more. He disclosed that he looks forward to doing everything with his daughter, no matter how messy, or menial.

“It is truly everything I expected it to be! And then some. I was looking forward to everything: the late nights, the diaper changes, playtime, story time etc. But that morning when I saw my daughter for the first time, looking like an angel in the bassinet; I knew being a dad would be the best part of my life to date,” Hector said.

Hector was dedicated to being the best father ever even before his partner became pregnant. Preparation for him included ensuring that he was in good standing to take care of a child, conducting some research, but mostly communicating with his partner to ensure they could navigate challenges as they came.

“I just told myself if I’ve failed to plan, I’ve planned to fail. I didn’t cram the entire internet into my brain trying to learn from others’ experiences instead I talked about it with my partner every day. We shared expectations, fears, and challenges, and talked about each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The more we did that, the more ready I felt,” Hector disclosed.

Though he seemed fully prepared to take on the role of fatherhood, Hector, who is a manager at LH Multimedia, said that he has encountered some surprises along the way.

He stated that when he became a father he expected to feel the urge to always be striving towards something, and working hard, however, with Zola-Renee in his life, he feels the need to slow down, and make time for the things that matter like spending time with his daughter.

“I always thought having a child would be the catalyst to kick-start a new era of my life. I thought I would be working harder, making the tougher decisions, and being the hero my daughter needs 24/7. Surprisingly! Fatherhood has taught me how to dial it back!”

“All my life I have been accustomed to working hard, my job can be very demanding and I hold myself accountable for anything I accomplish or don’t – so I’m always working. Now, I make time for walks, dinner time, playtime, family time etc., and she will demand that time so I’m learning as I go along and just chill,” he said.

As he watches his daughter grow up, Hector is in awe of how much she takes after him. He revealed that his love for music and his dancing skills seems to have been passed down to her; as well as his love for reading, evidenced by the fact that since before she could walk, Zola-Renee would hold a book upside down while she looks at the pictures.

Hector’s relationship with his own father has been instrumental in teaching him how to relate with his daughter. Hector said that having his father around, as he was raised in a nuclear family setting, he got the chance to see how his father reacted when there were issues, which were always met with positivity.

“My dad and I are good. I grew up with both parents so he was always around, not as hands on as mom but he was present in every situation. What I learnt from him is to see the positive in everything including unfavourable situations. That stuck with me through life and now fatherhood. I try to be very patient and put myself in Zola-Renee’s baby shoes, so I’m never annoyed if she destroys something or wants to play when I’m busy. That I got from him,” Hector explained.

Hector said that he could justify having another child, even though he always wanted only one. The change in mindset, he explained, came from the fun he has had raising his daughter, the life lessons and support from siblings.

When asked if he would want a boy this time around he said, “I wouldn’t be doing a lot differently if I were a boy dad. Having a daughter hasn’t skewed my mindset on parenting in any way. I always knew I would be a girl dad though and I love it.”