After learning that his wife was unable to get pregnant, Raymond Simpson was heartbroken that he would probably miss out on being a father. But 2017 was a turning point for him and his wife Monique, when they welcomed home their son Julius-Alexander who they adopted as a baby.

Simpson and his wife tied the knot in 2007, and like most couples the next ideal step was to start preparing and trying for children. After learning of his wife’s complications, the couple considered trying in vitro fertilisation but the high cost of the procedure was a deterrent.

Things seemed hopeless. Simpson’s hopes of being a father seemed impossible until a friend suggested adopting a child. The couple looked into Jamaica’s adoption process, but even that option presented challenges, as Simpson said that the process is a lengthy and tedious one.

“It was a lengthy process, but let me make it brief. After you apply, fill out all the paperwork, you are put on a waiting list which can take a very long time, years maybe, and I think it depends on which parish you apply from,” Simpson explained.

“Then once a child is identified they call you to visit and to see if you and that child fit or if you prefer to wait and see another. After you agree this is the baby you want, then you get to take home the child on weekends to get familiar with the house and the parents,” he said.

Simpson added that the next step is to have home visits from the Child Protection and Family Services Agency (CPFSA), formerly the Child Development Agency (CDA).

“After that final paper works are done to get a name change, birth certificate or adoption certificate. And that’s it. But when I say it was a long process, it was a long process. I think we even forgot that we had applied, because of how long we were waiting,” Simpson disclosed.

But while the legal aspect of the adoption process was taking place, Simpson had to make preparations on his end to be a father to his children. Simpson admitted that playing the role of a father came easy to him because of his numerous interactions with his nephews and his friends’ children.

“I have nephews and I have a lot of friends around me that have kids, so adjusting and becoming a father was pretty easy. Well, you know it comes with its everyday challenges but, overall, becoming a father wasn’t a problem, stepping into that role was the easy part,” Simpson told Observer Online.

Now the Simpsons family is being extended as they are in the process of adopting a baby girl named Zara.

Simpson said that the natural way he stepped into the role of being his children’s father is because he loves children, and he tends to be the fun parent. However, on a more serious note, he says that he has had to make major adjustments over the years since he became a dad. He shared that he is always thinking about his family, their needs and how he can meet them.

“Wow, [adjusting my life] was one of the hard parts. Basically everything I do I’m thinking about them. If I’m on the road getting food, I start to wonder if I should bring something home. With my job in media and production, staying out late wasn’t a problem but now I say ‘this show or whatever needs to finish at x time because I need to get home’,” the dad of two said.

“I remember the other day I had several projects I was a part of, and either I left home before they woke up or they left me sleeping, and then I got home late, and by then everybody is asleep. That went on for a couple days and I felt like I was missing out. Big up to Monique though, because she handles things when I’m not around, and I know when I’m not around it is hard, especially with Julius-Alexander,” Simpson added.

When asked if he feels like he missed out on anything by not having biological children, Simpson admitted that he has wondered at times, but he would not change anything about his life as it is with his wife and two children.

“To be honest, I do feel that way at times. I wonder how I’d handle the entire pregnancy process, what the child would look like, and stuff like that but I love how I became a father. I wouldn’t change anything about my life, I love it,” Simpson said.

Though they may not share genes, Simpson and his son do share interests as Julius-Alexander is into music and basketball like his dad.

Simpson shared that he hopes to nurture his children and teach them to love God, and learn how to be humble and respectful.

“First of all to love and serve God, because without Him we can’t be or do anything. I would be nowhere in life if I wasn’t a child of God. And then be humble, be respectful,” he said.

Following his own experience, and despite the lengthy process, Simpson is a strong proponent of adoption.

“Yes, I definitely recommend adoption, even if you have a child already and can manage to adopt. I love children, and unfortunately some kids don’t have the privilege of having parents that love and care for them. And if you can provide that home, that love and care for a child, I say do it,” the father of two said.