I am fresh of spirit

And resolved to meet

All perils very constantly.

— Shakespeare,
Julius Caesar

Ah yes, I am fresh of spirit, with a spring in my step and a smile on my face, I am resolved to meet all challenges that life may throw at me in this new year. But wait a minute, hold on to your horses, isn’t that what almost everyone says, or at least thinks, at the beginning of each new year?

It’s become a ritual for some, something that they feel obliged to say when the new year dawns. That’s right, those ridiculous resolutions that so many people make but never manage to keep. Just like icicles on a hot summer day, or the proverbial snowball in hell, they melt away into nothingness, never to be seen or even remembered again… until next new year.

But make them we must, even as we wish that by some divine miracle, some teeny tiny sliver of hope we may manage to keep them this year. Why though, why do people have this confounded obsession to try to change the way that they are, just because a new year comes along?

After all, new years have been emerging since mankind invented the calendar, and that’s from thousands of years ago. So why do people think that just because a new year rolls around, that they should unfurl a new list, a litany of lessons, a cornucopia of change, that they should foist upon themselves.

A hallmark of history, of remorse, resolutions, and remakes for the new year is foremost in their minds. We’ll see what that’s all about, right after these retorts to what I had to say about ‘Christmas presence’.

Hey Teerob,

Sadly so many persons have lost the true meaning of Christmas and place more emphasis on the presents that they expect to get rather than the presence of loved ones that is more beneficial. I find that this applies to a lot to needy women who put more value on material things rather than the companionship of a genuine man. They measure the man by what he gives them. Of course, everyone likes to receive stuff, but what’s the point of having all those presents but no presence to share them with?

Janice

Tony,

The merchants have a field day selling goods that make up presents, and the children really look forward to getting gifts. The lack of presents is tolerable, but the lack of presence is a painful void that cannot be filled. Speak with any child who has no parents, or any adult who has no one in their lives and you’ll realise how unbearable that lack of presence is. You nailed it this time. What do the lonely do at Christmas?

Sharon

So, it’s the first week of January 2025, and many people are still basking in the afterglow and aftermath of the holiday season. Christmas has come and gone and the new year has been ushered in with a bang for some but with a whimper for others.

Still, now it’s time to reflect and feel remorse, even as you make resolutions to remake yourself. At least that’s what some people think as they set out to reinvent themselves for the new year.

“It’s a new year, time to discard the old and usher in the new and start afresh.”

But stick a pin, that’s the same thing that was said last year, and the year before, and the year before that too. It borders on the absurd. But it still has to be done, giving credence to the old French saying, “The more things change, the more they remain the same.”

This year will be different though, for this time around, not only will resolutions be made, but remorse will be shown for all the transgressions that were committed. Well, at least the major ones. This new year, the man will atone for all his sins and do his best to fix them.

His first task is to beg every woman who he deceived, lied to, fooled just to get her into bed, for forgiveness.

“Baby, I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you that I was married, please forgive me.”

“Honey, I have other women with you, I must confess.”

After that he’ll make a resolution never to go down that dark path again, but stick to the straight and narrow and be faithful to one woman only. If it’s his wife, that’s the way it will be, and if it’s his main girlfriend, she’ll be the only one. The man will therefore reinvent himself, do a complete remake, for this is a new year, and it’s a new dawn for him and his newfound pure lifestyle.

A woman may have a different outlook when it comes to remorse, for history has shown that many women rarely have remorse for things that they have done to men. Or is that just a chapter from the male chauvinist handbook?

Whatever, whether it’s perception or reality, it’s been bandied about for decades and especially among nowadays women. Many women justify this action by saying that men deserve everything bad that comes their way, for they have spent countless centuries deceiving women.

For example, when women are told that more than 35 per cent of men tested aren’t the real fathers of their children, the response usually is,”Well, dem deserve fi get jacket, for dem fool up woman all the time.” Jacket justification is real. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, a jacket is a child of another man who’s deceptively passed off to the male partner or husband as his.

“Here, take him, he’s yours.”

“But I don’t have blue eyes?”

“Yu daddy ain’t yu daddy, but yu daddy don’t know.”

And just for the record, Jamaica is the jacket capital of the world, even as it’s justified by women who have no remorse.

“Man fi get jacket, for dem is too lie and deceiving to woman,” is what’s echoed by many females.

But some women still manage to show even a modicum of remorse or attempt to change their ways. There are a few women who, even for a fleeting moment, feel badly about always cursing the man.

“Lord, I really shouldn’t cuss him so much, he’s trying his best.”

So she resolves to stop cursing and beating down the man at every opportunity. Her resolution is, “I shall praise him, I shall commend him, I shall tell him how great thou art every day.”

So, just like the man, she’ll try to do a complete remake and be a better person for the new year.

Back to the man now, who will show remorse about being abusive towards the woman. He will express deep remorse about hitting her and resolve never to strike her ever again.

“I realise that what I was doing was wrong, and I resolve never to hit her again.”

He then will do a complete remake and become a better person for the new year, as he not only makes that resolution, but promises to stick to it.

“So help me God, come hell or high water, if I hit her again may lightning strike me down.”

Back to the women again, who may feel remorse about depriving the man of sex for 10 months out of the year.

“Lord, I really feel bad about not giving him more. I really feel sorry about that.”

So she resolves to fulfil his fantasies and desires whenever he wishes, plus put a little extra on it for good measure.

“I won’t be selfish anymore, I will satisfy his needs every time.”

She’ll become a new woman in the new year, a sexual gymnast, an insatiable imp that every man would dream of having.

Take a breath now and reflect on all that I’ve said. I really hope that you have a large jug of water to take it in with a grain of salt. Did I say grain of salt? Make that kilos, for we all know that what I’ve just expressed is nothing short of fantasy.

It’s not going to happen, it’s a dream, it’s a wish, it’s false hope for some who really think that just because it’s a new year they’re magically going to feel remorse, have regrets, make resolutions and remake themselves. It’s never going to happen, so just accept the inevitable. That’s why people remain the same every year, year in year out, no matter how many new years come and go and how many resolutions they make.

People are the way they are, and all are prisoners of their personalities. They have no change to change, so you’ll either have to accept them the way they are, or walk away. Have you seen how many prisoners revert to crime shortly after they are released? That applies to other people also, just like the proverbial leopard that cannot change its spots.

Nevertheless, do not despair, for it’s still a new year with hopes and dreams of a new beginning.

“The air bites shrewdly, it is very cold, no matter what, we wish you the very best in the new year. Joy, gentle friends.” — Shakespeare,
Hamlet 1, 4. More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: They say that two bulls can’t reign in one pen. Well, what about two women? Basil Dawkins explores this subject in his hilarious and thought-provoking play
First Lady. The comedy/drama delves into the situation where a man is immersed in the throes of emotions with his wife and their household helper, with both women having their agenda. Expertly crafted, the drama is brought to life by veterans Dennis Titus and Deon Silvera who keep the audience enraptured, and complemented by newcomer Renae Williams who also shines. Without giving away the plot, this play touches on everyday themes that we can identify with. That’s why some women never employ helpers who are too young and attractive. Who’s the real first lady? Basil Dawkins explores this and more. Jamaican theatre is alive and well and I am so proud of those in the industry.