With official data showing divorce rates climbing and marriages steadily declining, well known marriage, family, and sex therapist Bishop Dr Carla Dunbar is warning that too many couples are treating separation as though it were “on hire purchase”, walking away when challenges do not produce quick results.

That troubling pattern, Dr Dunbar argues, reflects a deeper issue — inadequate preparation for marriage, as many couples are not educating themselves about what marriage truly is or what it requires to succeed. Instead, there is often greater focus on the wedding day than on the lifelong commitment that follows.

In light of this, she is urging church ministers and marriage officers to strengthen premarital counselling programmes and to deepen their own understanding of the institution of marriage.

She cautioned against rushing couples to the altar without ensuring they are emotionally prepared for the realities of partnership, conflict resolution, and long-term sacrifice.

Latest figures from the Statistical Institute of Jamaica show that marriages have been trending downward since 2022, when more than 15,000 were recorded. The number fell to 14,167 in 2023 and declined further to 12,470 in 2024. Over the same period, divorce filings have steadily increased from 3,310 in 2022, to 3,537 in 2023 and grew further to 3,729 in 2024, signalling a growing strain within unions.

Dr Dunbar noted that, while couples do not enter marriage anticipating divorce, the greater accessibility of the process has made it a more convenient option when differences arise.

“When you could enter into it, and your expectations are not met, and what you thought was not, then naturally people are going to take the route that they can take out. Once upon a time, divorce wasn’t as easy as it is to access now. Right now, you can get divorced on hirepurchase. You can, like a drive up to a [fast food outlet] and you order divorce at one end, and you pick up the paper at the other, and it’s very easy to access now. It wasn’t as easy before, so people were more willing to work on their marriages then, but now it’s easy,” she told the Jamaica Observer.

The highly qualified counselling psychologist and licensed sex therapist said modern marriages are fast-paced, absent of lasting effects, with requests for immediate progress and development.

“Everyone wants things the way they want it now, so there’s no willingness to work at marriage to cultivate it, to develop it, and to watch it grow. Marriage is a living organism. It needs time to grow, it needs times of tenderness and love and care, and commitment from the parties that are involved in order for it to grow and thrive, and that is what is wrong — the absence and the unwillingness to wait and to facilitate the growth,” said Dr Dunbar.

“Everybody wants that [quick fix], and that doesn’t happen with anything that is alive and growing. A child is not born today and then becomes an adult immediately. You don’t just enter university to study and get your degree in an instant,” she argued.

Dr Dunbar said that while she does not believe the true value of marriage can ever be lost, many couples enter into it without fully understanding its significance, purpose, and divine foundation. Instead of preparing for the lifelong partnership it requires, she noted, some focus primarily on temporary emotions and romantic fantasies.

“We don’t have the manual, apart from the Bible — and people do not take enough time, even pastors don’t take enough time to study the word of God as it concerns marriage. I don’t think we should stand up as marriage officers to join two people together before knowing if they are sufficiently prepared for the rigours of marriage,” Dunbar told the Sunday Observer.

She stressed the importance of adequate premarital counselling to assess if couples are ready for the lifelong commitment, noting that short, two-day sessions are not enough for individuals to understand what makes a marriage healthy.

As such, Dunbar called on pastors and marriage officers to stress the importance of counselling sessions before and after marriage, adding that she is open to training marriage officers and pastors.

“Marriages are built to last, but they need maintenance, and that maintenance is in the word of God. Everything I’m talking about, I find it right there in the scriptures. If marriage is honourable, like the
Bible said in Hebrews chapter 13 verse four… then we have to do the things. If you honour something, or if you honour someone, then act accordingly… That’s how we should approach it,” said Dr Dunbar.

Latest figures from the Statistical Institute of Jamaica show that marriages have been trending downward since 2022, when more than 15,000 were recorded. The number fell to 14,167 in 2023 and declined further to 12,470 in 2024. Over the same period, divorce filings have steadily increased since 2022 when 3,310 were recorded across the island. The figures increased to 3,537 in 2023 and grew further to 3,729 in 2024, signalling growing strain within unions.

DUNBAR… people do not take enough time, even pastors don’t take enough time to study the word of God as it concerns marriage