Dear Editor,

A child signs up for football. Two weeks later the coach is “too mean”, he/she want to quit.

A homework assignment feels “too hard”, so it is left unfinished.

A disagreement with a friend leads to immediate withdrawal instead of resolution.

Across homes and classrooms in Jamaica these moments are becoming increasingly familiar. They are often dismissed as phases, personality traits, or simply “how children are these days”. But taken together they raise an important questions: Are we raising children who struggle to stay committed, engaged, stay steady when things become difficult? Is it more than just a passing phase?

The word often used is fickle for children who shift quickly, lose interest easily, and disengage when faced with challenge. Yet beneath that label is something more meaningful.

This conversation, first echoed in discussions by clinical psychologist Georgia Rose, invites us to consider whether what we are seeing is not inconsistency, but a difficulty tolerating discomfort. Because, when children have not yet developed the capacity to sit with frustration, confusion, or failure, stepping away can feel like the only option.0

Today’s children are growing up in an environment that is faster, louder, and more demanding than ever before. They are surrounded by instant access to entertainment, immediate rewards and gratification, multiple competing demands for attention, and constant stimulation and comparison.

In such an environment, the ability to pause, persist, and push through difficulty is not automatic — it must be intentionally developed.

Imagine a child attempting to build a puzzle. At first, they are engaged. Then a piece does not fit. Frustration sets in.

Now imagine that same child with access to a tablet just a few feet away. The moment discomfort arises there is an easier alternative — one that requires no persistence.

Over time, the brain begins to choose ease over effort. This is not because the child lacks ability, but because the environment consistently rewards quick exits.

Consider another common scenario: A child begins piano lessons. The early sessions are exciting, but as practice becomes repetitive and mistakes increase, motivation fades. The child asks to stop, and often the request is granted. This moment, though small, carries weight. Because what the child learns is not just about piano. They learn: When something feels difficult, I can walk away.

Now multiply that lesson across schoolwork, friendships, sports, and eventually work and relationships. What begins as flexibility can quietly evolve into avoidance.

When children are not supported in building persistence, the effects may not be immediate, but they accumulate over time. We begin to see low frustration tolerance, difficulty completing tasks, emotional reactivity, and reduced confidence. Without opportunities to persist and succeed children miss the chance to build a critical belief: “I can handle hard things.”

This is not about blame. This is not about criticising parents or caregivers. Jamaican families continue to show resilience, love, and deep commitment to raising their children. But in our effort to protect and support we may sometimes unintentionally remove the very experiences that build strength.

Moments like sitting with frustration, trying again after failure, completing something that feels uncomfortable, or working through conflict instead of walking away are not setbacks, they are essential developmental moments.

If the challenge is inconsistency and low tolerance for discomfort, then the solution is not harshness, but intentional guidance. Children need to be supported in understanding that difficulty is part of growth; following through, even when motivation fades; managing emotions rather than escaping them; and learning that effort matters as much as outcome.

This does not require drastic changes, just consistent ones: Encourage children to finish what they start. Allow them to sit briefly with discomfort. Guide them through frustration rather than removing it. And, perhaps most importantly, model steadiness in our own lives.

Children should have the freedom to explore, to change interests, and to discover what they enjoy. But they also need to learn how to stay long enough to struggle, to improve, and to grow. The goal is not rigidity, it is steadiness.

Perhaps the question is not simply whether Jamaican children are becoming fickle. Perhaps the deeper question is: Are we raising children who know how to remain steady when life becomes uncomfortable?

Challenges will come. Failure will happen. And in those moments, what will matter most is not talent or opportunity, but the ability to stay. Stay engaged. Stay committed.

If we can nurture that ability then we are not just raising children who succeed; we are raising children who endure, children who adapt, children who rise. And in doing so we strengthen not just individuals,but the future of Jamaica itself.

Amanda Fraser

Clinical psychologist