Unequally yoked

IN some cultures, a parent not approving of their child’s relationship can be a very big deal, so much so that people have actually died because of it. In other cultures, the disapproval is still there, but though it might not take such a drastic turn, fact is, many mothers and fathers who don’t approve of their children’s mates go out of their way to voice this disapproval.

What have these parents done?

Malik, 32:

My mom kept calling my new girl by my ex’s name, acting like her dementia was acting up, when she knew exactly what she was doing. Then she started telling my girl lies — like calling her to say I’d been cheating and starting conversations to imply that I was still with my ex. The climax was when we showed up to Christmas dinner, and my mom had invited my ex to help with some of the cooking. It was very awkward and spiteful, but luckily my girl was mature and trusted me enough to realise what my mom was doing.

Ralph, 47:

My mother said she would not attend my wedding because my wife was a divorcée, never mind the fact that I was a widower. For her, according to the Bible, a divorced woman was like Jezebel. Then when she saw that we were going to get married anyway, whether or not she was there, she came, dressed in black, down to a hat with a veil, like she was mourning. We’re still married by the way, 17 years strong, but my mother was slow to forgive — she didn’t interact with her grand kids until my oldest was six.

Alexis, 30:

My father said my boyfriend was too dark skinned — he was the last one I expected to be prejudiced, I more expected that from my mother, to be honest. He didn’t just say that to me, he told the guy to his face that he wasn’t good enough. I really liked him too, but after that, how could we go on? Even if I assured him, he would always have it in the back of his mind that he was not accepted.

Nia, 24:

He just didn’t have enough money, and they made me know. He couldn’t support me, and as a teacher, he was “destined to be a pauper”. My folks don’t care about love. That kinda thing wears you down, especially if you’re very family-centred.

Destiny, 34:

This was more a religious non-match. My mom said he was an OK guy but he was too stuck up, and she asked me whether I could really give up make-up and jewellery, shrimp and lobster, for a guy. She asked what I would do when I looked like an old lady and couldn’t even turn to botox, and then he would ask for a second wife or leave me for a younger woman. I thought she made a valid point.