Road hazards and the testosterone condition
Dear Editor,
The other day I was driving down the road. Right and right, then left and right again. As I proceeded to make the next right this cream coloured Toyota Camry coming from the left just decided to accelerate. By this I am already fully turned and he is driving behind me. A pick up truck is on the left side of the road, taking up some of the left lane, and the road is narrow. Mr Toyota Camry does not allow the God given sensibility to reign; instead he allows his testosterone hormonal impulses to instruct him to continue to accelerate and this to his own detriment.
He attempts to overtake me, who is already overtaking the pick up truck on the left, which means I middled the road. But smart guy in his cream coloured Toyota Camry decided that he had to exert his manhood and attempt an impossible overtake. Apparently my pulling out on him, in my little 11 year old grey blue untinted Sunny with no rims or hubcaps was an evil needing correcting for this was hardly a “class” vehicle worthy of overtaking his chariot of honour. So Mr Smart Guy swerved from behind my Sunny to overtake me, who was already overtaking a pick up truck, not a bicycle, a pick up truck.
Mr Enormously Skilled didn’t seem to be too perceptive at all. He apparently didn’t notice that the road was way too narrow for three vehicles to pass. Nevertheless, he proceeded to overtake me on this minor road at about 80 km per hour. Girlfren, Bredren, it would have been easier to have a camel pass through the eye of a needle than for this overtake to happen. By this Mr Camry is in the right lane blowing like crazy (and I do mean in the failing mental condition sense) and as he passes me, we (the streets guys and I) hear this metallic noise, a sound that took me back to childhood when I’d go in the kitchen to sample the food before it was ready and the clanging sound of a hot dutch pot cover hitting the ground would ring the alarm that Goldilocks was stealing out the porridge.
But this noise was the sound of his hubcaps rolling away from the vehicle. The man is ingenious, the overtake did happen. But he had to climb the sidewalk (a good couple inches high) to make it. And so his magnificent ascent on the sidewalk was followed by a very immodest noise, that was all together appalling and hilarious. He continued to drive, and smoothly (at least this time) merged into my lane. I saw him glance at his hubcaps rolling away under the pick up truck and another under an old vehicle on the road side, but he didn’t or rather couldn’t turn back to collect his medals. Instead he took a left, then a right and then slowly began to stop.
By this I was driving on to face my own trials but surely Mr Toyota Camry 1997, could not turn back or stop to pick up his hubcaps for his judgement wasnít just erroneous, it was ridiculous and impossible. And the street boys; those way, way below him in the social hierarchy could not be allowed to mock him or his testosterone driven decision.
Though it was a man driving the vehicle both men and women suffer from this condition so Girlfren and Bredren alike please be careful on the roads.
Selly-Ann Mair