Is bedroom boredom inevitable?
Around 43 per cent of women and 31 per cent of men are classified sexually dysfunctional. These are the grim findings recently uncovered by researchers about our sex lives. The Journal of the American Medical Association reported these staggering statistics in an exhaustive survey, waking us up to the fact that that our sex life is far from what it has been cracked up to be.
The researchers cited the many physical causes for sexual dysfunction, such as painful intercourse and premature ejaculation, but by and large, the leading culprit seems to be a lack of libido — a general disinterest in sex.
Are sexual problems a sad sign of the times? With many young couples working long hours outside the home, babies to nurture, and leisure time at a minimum, is it unrealistic to expect today’s couples to stay psyched for sex?
And how important, really, is a hot sex life in a committed relationship? Very important indeed! It has been found that couples enjoying great sex report a higher quality of life. They experience less depression. Regular intimacy is the perfect buffer for the stress in our lives — helping us to stay healthy and happy.
Let’s take a closer look at the state of marriage today. Divorce rates hover stubbornly around 50 per cent. This number closely parallels the rate of sexual dysfunction. Is this a coincidence? If our relationships are sexually unfulfilling, it seems natural that we would begin to seek that fulfillment elsewhere. With extramarital affairs reigning number one in keeping divorce lawyers in business, not to mention the messy aftermath that divorce can create for our families and ourselves, perhaps it is high time to take a serious look at enhancing our sex lives. Isn’t it worth the investment?
So, now that you know there’s a problem — and a big one to boot — what can you do? What is it that’s holding you back from experiencing great sex? Blame, guilt, and resentment are the big three that get in the way. It’s time, right now, to banish the blame, ditch the guilt, and lose the resentment. The big three stand together, blocking your way on the road to erotic delight. It’s time to say adios.
Jump-starting your sex life means changing old patterns and ideas. Like any major change in your life, it can be daunting at first. But, once the startup hurdle is cleared and you begin, it feels too good to stop. You create a positive loop, eroding the power of the big three, and once again will experience the joy regular intimacy brings back into your relationship. By giving yourself permission to enjoy more frequent or intense sex, the intimacy that you deserve is truly within your reach.
So, you want to set some sexual sparks in motion? You may be asking, “Where do I begin?”
* Begin with intention. Create a space in your life for passion. Start by setting aside just 15 minutes a day and use this time to focus on sexuality. Read erotica, talk with a friend about your love life, write a hot note to your partner, rent a steamy video, shop for sexy lingerie, or listen to music that turns you on. Whatever it is you choose to get your juices flowing, just use this time to get in touch with your buried sensuality. Begin today!
* Reopen channels of communication. Take the time — right now — to talk with your partner about what is keeping you from having the sex life you crave.
* Not quite ready to talk? Then, take a look at what might be sabotaging your sex life. Write a letter — to yourself or to your partner — or start a journal. Just let your feelings flow. It isn’t necessary to share your thoughts at first. But do hold onto them — you may be ready to share and explore this part of yourself with your love sooner than you think.
Even if it has been years since you have felt bliss in the bedroom, it is easier than you can imagine to rekindle those erotic feelings. Desire does not need to decline or die because of busy schedules, kids or decades of togetherness. The bottom line: it’s not too late!
Passionate sex is yours for a lifetime and it’s the gift that just keeps on giving.
