Mom ‘extraordinaire’

Neil and Janice Lewis have all of eleven children – five boys and six girls – and strongly believe that since children are a blessing from God, you should not limit the number of children you have. To them, God determines the final number.

So deep is this family’s commitment to having children and raising a family that Janice gave up a promising career in the army to be a stay-at-home mother.

“I was a lieutenant in the Jamaica Defence Force. I was six months away from being promoted to a captain when we decided that someone had to stay home,” she told All Woman in a very candid interview last week. “What happened was that when our son was 9 months old there was a strike by the National Water Commission. We were stuck at the JDC camp for a few days. Our son was left with the helper at our home in Nightingale Grove, St Catherine where we lived then for the entire time,”

“That situation was very unnerving for us and we decided that someone had to be home, give up the job and stay with the kids. So I did,” said Janice, who is in her forties.

The plan was for her to do business while at home to supplement the family income, which had been cut in half when she stopped working. At the time, the couple lived on a five-acre farm and Janice was supposed to manage it.

But she was having baby almost every two years and soon she left most of the business running to her husband, who was also an army officer.

“By our third child I had gotten over the fear of giving up my career and thinking oh my, what had I done. But I persevered and had them talking by a year old, potty trained by 2 and so on,” said the proud mother. Although originally wanting only three children she soon embraced her husband’s vision to have more.

“Neil would jokingly say that he wanted 12 kids. I guess because his dad had 12 kids. But I ignored that. I had wanted three originally like my mother,” she said with a laugh. “I had forgotten the three limit and so number four came along. When I got to number 5, however, I said ‘God I need a break.”

According to Janice, she found herself getting miserable and mad at her family, signalling that she needed some time by herself. For the next three years, she said she decided no more children and she prayed to God for guidance on issues of parenting. The couple are staunch Christians and members of the Christian Life Church on Gordon Town Road in St Andrew. From time to time they give talks in other churches on Family Life issues.

“By number 5 I decided that I would not do anything about birth control. We believed that children were a blessing from God, that we would not limit the size of our family artificially, nor limit that blessing,” she said. “When I was struggling with the issue at number five, I prayed about it and God placed on my mind that I would enjoy family life – that it would be a time for parties just like it was for me in my childhood. My parents used to have a lot of parties for us.”

“We are at number 10 now and we are fostering one child. The baby, Emanuel is three months now – he was born on Christmas Day – he is a real gift,” said Janice, who teaches the last five children at home. She explained that she used an American Christian curriculum, which she combined with aspects of the Jamaican programme.

“I use the Abeka curriculum – a Christian one coming out of the United States and I combine with the Jamaica for example social studies and science. We put the children into the school system at grade six,” she said.

She explained that she had school from 8 am until 2 pm- although the schedule had changed a little since Emanuel’s birth. Sometimes she said they would start at nine instead. The children would get an hour’s break at 12 and then school would finish at three. Previously they would have two breaks – one at 10:30-10:45 and another at 12:00 pm.

She stressed that she set very high goals for them and encouraged them to maintain a 90 something average so that they could get scholarships at the end of high school.

“We told the kids early in life to go after scholarships. I demand a 90 something average from them. We said we will pull out all the stops to take you through to sixth form, extra classes and the works but you have to find a scholarship after to do tertiary education,” she said. The couple’s first child, Noel got a scholarship to study for four years at the US naval academy. At twenty he has one year left to finish. The second child, Priscilla – 18 years old – is waiting to hear if she got through for a scholarship and 16 year-old Kathryn is a former national spelling bee champion.

Not all of the children have been home-schooled, as the bigger ones went to prep school. Janice shared that there were times in the early days when, economically things were difficult.

“At one point, when we had all four of the children in prep school, they decided to raise the fees. We did not have the extra and we decided to look for a good primary school. But the school found out what we were planning and gave one of them a scholarship,” Janice said.

Many times it was whatever business they were operating on the sidelines that got them through.

“After a while though, it got too much for Neil and we just decided to trust the Lord. Eventually Neil got a good job at Jamaica Broilers and he has been able to provide for us,” she said. Neil Lewis is the Vice President of Poultry Affairs at Best Dressed Chicken and left the army as a major. He is also Chairman of the Family Life Ministries, a christian organisation.

Despite buying in bulk, planting some of their own food and the children sharing hand-me-down clothes, the couple has high maintenance costs. Janice admitted to spending about $45, 000 per month on food.

“I shop at the wholesale. I spend about $25,000 there, maybe another ten on meats and ten more at the supermarket when we run out,” she explained. The family practices tithing and giving a lot, she said and in return God had blessed them. Strong support systems such as the help of her mother, in-laws, two helpers and a driver also helped the family to function. Coming from a military background, the couple has also applied that structure to their family.

“All the kids have a number. Neil and I are number 12. When we travel we have head counts so that we don’t forget anybody,”

“On four occasions we have forgotten someone – once we left one at Denbigh and found her at the police station later. Another was left at church on another occasion, then there was the time when one was left at Coney Park. So we became very diligent about counting heads before we get into the car to make sure everyone is there,”

“We partner the children an older one with a younger one. Everybody knows their partner and has to be with their partner all the time. The partner ensures that the younger one eats, is bathed and just generally supervised to get ready and so on. Because each child is partnered I can relax at the dining table for example. Right now though I take care of the baby,” Janice told All Woman, while breastfeeding Emanuel.

“At 13 they become adults in our home – which means they can be left responsible for the house while we go away for a day or two. As an adult your opinion is sought in decision-making. You are no longer flogged.”

The couple strongly believe that you should not spare the rod and spoil the child. Janice explained that each child was beaten according to age – the two year old would get two ‘licks’ and so on. Her beatings, she said, was done with compassion and the kids did not feel threatened because they knew they were loved.

“I have broken myself into hugging them and telling that I love them, so when we beat them they don’t feel threatened. I believe in beating and I thank my mother for every lick I get,” she said.

How do the couple manage to spend quality time with all the children and each other?

“Because I am at home I am available to them. My mother was also at home for me. I am happy to give them the joy and security of me being there. I am glad I made the choice to stay home.”

“Neil and I go out every Thursday night, that is our date night. I am very involved in his work. We spend time together, travel together and whenever he goes to speak anywhere, I go with him. I pray while he speaks,”

“He spends quality time with the children by setting aside one Saturday each week for one of them. So his Saturdays are booked up to over a month. He takes them swimming two mornings each week – they get up at 4 am each day and go to the Liguanea club to swim,” she explained.

According to her the openness encouraged in communicating in the family ensured that they did not have any problem with their teenagers rebelling. She shared a few parenting tips – “Treat your children as blessings, cherish and love them. Pray for them because when you do they become malleable in your hands. Develop a friendship with your kids, tell them you love them and hug them. But don’t spare the rod and spoil the child,” she said. To career women she gave the following advice:

“There may be times in your life when you might have to come out of the career world to be there for your child to guide them through. Be sensitive and give time to your family to make sure your household stays together. Live your life to have as little regrets as possible,” she said.

Is Emanuel the couple’s last child? They are not sure yet. Check them in another two years and you will know. Jan’s last words on it were “I would have more kids because I love them very much.”