Give me the Yankee woman over the Jamaican

The Jamaican woman has been revered for her beauty and sensuality, especially by foreign male visitors, but the perception of her seems to differ drastically among her Jamaican male counterparts overseas.

In America, for example, some Jamaican men say they want nothing to do with her on a romantic level. “Them could a pretty like money me a stay far from them,” said one patron recently at a barber salon in the Bronx.

Not that the Jamaican woman is romantically lacking, but those fleeting moments of joy come with a heavy price, their countrymen feel.

“Once you go bed with them, them feel say them own you and that you are forever indebted to them,” continued the same patron. “You have fi tell them your whereabouts all three times for the day like I sign contract that my routine is supposed to be from home to work and back. It’s like you reporting to the master in slavery days.”

“Don’t bother think they don’t realise what them doing, for you constantly a point it out to them. But it is like a power trip for them. they are real control freaks.” Some women might explain this as just part of the communication process and that knowing their mates’ whereabouts builds a closer bond. Others readily site the trust factor.

Hundreds of Jamaican men living in America return home for a vacation each year. Many are smitten by an attractive young woman, and eventually start a long- distance relationship.

Then comes the decision to take up his lassie to the States to live with him.

Big mistake, if you go by the experiences of several Jamaican men living in the New York area. The general consensus is that after three years, a radical metamorphosis takes place turning ‘your angel’ into a ‘monster’.

Donovan, a native Portlander, can still recall his ex-mate of a few years ago who had him spend a night in jail for allegedly raping her. Later she was confronted with the lack of medical evidence for the attack.

Junior met his then shy schoolteacher mate on a Christmas trip five years ago.

Three years after, she moved to the States to live with him. The two separated after numerous loud, verbal fights which prompted their landlord to evict them. He finds solace in a “señorita from Dominica” as he fondly calls his latina girlfriend from Santo Domingo.

Derrick, a construction worker in his 40s, has gone Hispanic, too, by marrying a Honduran. Derrick admits to being so traumatised by past relationships with Jamaican women that he can’t think of any reason, but death, that would prompt him return to Jamaica. He stays away from several Jamaican events as he wants no reminders of his first child’s mother.

He’d rather keep private the trauma she has put him through.

Barry, who grew up in a tough Kingston community like Derrick, can still feel the sting after he used a fraudulent passport switch to get his ex-mate from St Catherine to illegally enter the States. Within a year she called police to have him spend time behind bars as a result of a domestic dispute.

“I would have to go crazy to go down that road again,” says Glen Ray, who sings the praises of his ‘Yankee woman,’ contrary to a popular 1980s reggae hit sung by Mikey Jarrat with the catchy line Mi nah lef mi Yardie fi go marry a Yankee.

“They are a bunch of jealous, envious, conniving control freaks,” continues Glen Ray of his countrywomen, one of whom dismissed him from their home a few months after convincing him to consolidate their assets, give up his pad and move in with her.

“You know how many brethren I know have to choose between them woman and soccer, and the funny thing is the two not even related. You come to this country and you show the Yankee woman a better way of life, take her out of the projects (low-income apartment buildings) they appreciate you for that.” “My Yankee queen treat me like a king. I wonder how much yard man (slang for Jamaican man) can say that about their Jamaican woman.”

Another barber salon patron is still miffed that not one, but two Jamaican ex-mates, separately connived their way into controlling much of his assets, including houses. “Imagine wha me have fi go through fi buy them house dey and mi can’t even go a one a dem front gate. Them Jamaican woman yah a nuh just golddiggers, them come yah fi dig out yu yeye.”

Meanwhile, many Jamaican women living in America suffer on the dating scene because of the indiscretions of their predecessors. Some will call up girlfriends, usually in the same predicament, to go out as a group to an entertainment spot. Intentions might be innocuous but to some men such a group is like a wolfpack looking for someone to prey on.

“If I’m going to be devoured better it be by someone else (a non-Jamaican). At least I can blame it on cultural differences,” continues Glen Ray, who boasts dalliances with women of various nationalities.

Dave, an ex-Premier League footballer, says he can count on being pampered by his American mate after a bruising match representing one of the top Jamaican teams in the New York area. Not many others can attest to such treatment from their Jamaican woman.

And there is still more to the laundry list of complaints about the Jamaican woman:

. they use the children as pawns, or ransom – that the fathers can’t see their children if they have no money to give them;

. they are quick to air their dirty laundry (personal business, not fabric) in public just to belittle the man;

. envious – they’ll stop at nothing to one-up their rivals;

. lack of trust – they’ll lie to you with a straight face even when caught in the act and have low morals.

One Jamaican landlady in her 60s, who is now looking for ways to evict her attractive Jamaican tenant, swears she won’t rent to a Jamaican woman again. “The generation of Jamaican women nowadays must have been dragged up, not brought up as when I was growing up,” she says, having lived in the New York for over 30 years and seeing the indifferent behaviour of the latter arrivals.

So what’s the innocent recent female Jamaican arrival seeking her financial fortune in America to do about her intimate life? In a big city like New York, the difficulty for such women might be more pronounced.

In smaller Jamaican enclaves like Georgia and South Florida where communities are more sprawling, the smaller but more closely knit Jamaican network can recommend a friend to someone who wants male company.

Several times, simply being available results in such a liaison. Discriminating standards take a backseat.

Several Jamaican men fly home to search for a mate or to liaise with their mate who lives on the island. Anthony, for example, flies down at least three times a year. His girlfriend makes the trip to New York on average twice a year for the past four years. “I have no complaint with my long-distance relationship,” reasons Anthony, whose mate lives in

Portmore. “We never argue, all our time spent together is quality time because it is limited, so we don’t waste time with anything that will ruin the relationship. It’s just niceness all the time. I am busy working two jobs anyway, so I have time for little else when I’m in New York.”