Passion quenchers in relationships
Have you ever wondered why relationships which were so passionate to begin with, go sour or seem flat? Many relationships seem to lose their spark and limp along to the point that people think the couple are monks and nuns, rather than sexual beings. If we think about it, we will realise that the death of passion has so much more to do with us rather than the myriad excuses we all love to give.
I put the blame for the cooling of passion squarely at the feet of women. Far too many of us are the architects of our own doom. By this I mean we bring the passion quenchers down on ourselves. Now we all know that the average man is very sexual. A man could be vexed with you but, come bedtime, is ready, willing and definitely able!
A friend of mine recounted how she had quarrelled with her gentleman and was actually holding malice. She locked shop and declared that she wasn’t speaking to him. Well, he simply stated, “I love you and you love me. Our bodies are not fighting, so forget it!” He pounced and she capitulated. Enough said!
Old people say that one shouldn’t go to bed angry. Far too many women do that, go to bed angry to the point that it becomes ingrained. The man can’t be bothered because he doesn’t feel he should have to beg and this becomes the norm, day after day. And when he strays, the wife wonders why!
I have said this before but I still think that we women make it so easy for our men to stray when we hold out. The best way to keep your man faithful (if you truly want him, that is) is to kill him with it, no matter what.
Instead, we go to bed with way too much clothing and far too much extraneous gear. Picture a woman going to bed with a face mask. Talk about a passion quencher! That could not be sexy, by any stretch of the imagination! And yet far too many women go to bed like that; or they wear rollers. The poor man has to go to bed as if warding off enemy attack in a war zone!
I know that a lot of women are shy, but far too many go to bed in long-sleeved nighties that would require the man to be an expert at hunting down treasure in some remote area in order to get to the coveted diadem. Obviously, a woman needs to be modest around the children, but, in the bedroom, she needs to be the femme fatale that every hot-blooded male wants. Strip and go to bed nude, trust me! The average man can’t resist that and will definitely rise on every occasion! Either that or wear slinky negligees and crotch-less underwear. Men don’t like to have to work too hard to get what they desire!
Now a lot of women will say that they are tired and when they go to bed they go to sleep. I am not, for one minute, discounting tiredness, but I really cannot identify with that. Tiredness should never be a damper on passion. If you love your man, truly love him and want him, a little tiredness shouldn’t put a damper on passion. Take some vitamins and get fit; either that or he will find someone else to go a marathon or two with him. Besides, you can rest and wake up like a raging sexual volcano. And if you are saying what about the men in all this, I would say that it is a man’s world, like it or not, and a woman’s got to do what a woman’s got to do to keep her man. Quid pro quo, believe me he will reciprocate, if he wants you, that is!
An obvious passion quencher is hygiene. We need to pay attention to this. When your man comes to bed, he should be tempted by a beautiful, inviting wife with eager arms and legs, yielding mouth, and very alluring aura. It is undoubtedly a turn-off if one goes to bed ‘frowzy’ and expects romance. And it goes for both parties. If you have that problem, you need to address it, pronto!!!
Another obvious quencher is watching television. No matter how interesting the programme, my advice is, ditch it, once your man enters the room. Put the VCR to tape it and catch it another time! Many people say that we should never keep a TV in the bedroom. I wouldn’t go that far. Just remember that everything has its place.
If you want to perk up the old sex life, I would suggest that you try something different. When you don’t keep it sizzling, you run the risk of your man sizzling between other sheets. Your motivation will clearly be how much you want your man. God forbid you let it reach the stage where you couldn’t care less what he does.
Joy Crawford is a freelance writer.
