Hilary Nicholson – over 20 years championing the rights of women
Hilary Nicholson appears so often in the media talking about gender issues that you might feel you already know her. This week however all woman decided to take a deeper look at this champion of women.
She hates to write, used to be painfully shy, loves theatre, dancing, travel and the ocean. She’s also fiercely independent, a devoted friend and tends to fall in love with absolutely the wrong kind of man. These are just a few of the things that make up Hilary Nicholson.
She’s best known for her work with Women’s Media Watch (WMW), but these days, the pint-sized dynamo may be ready for a change as her passions begin to call again. (Women’s Media Watch is a small non-government organization driven by volunteers which focuses on gender relations to challenge gender based violence.)
“I miss theatre,” says the bubbly Nicholson. “Theatre is a lifelong love. I was too shy as a child to do very much. I was excruciatingly shy and lacking in self confidence. I went to drama school and was inspired by people like Dennis Scott, Carol Dawes, Leonie Forbes and Tom Cross. That pushed my interest into drama and education, and that’s how I got into Sistren.”
This seminal group back in the late 70s was the first to focus on women and gender based violence, and turned out to be the un-intentional springboard for WMW, for which Nicholson serves as Programme and Training Co-ordinator.
“This wasn’t deliberate at all,” exclaims Nicholson. “I didn’t get involved in the women’s movement because of an interest in women. I got involved with Sistren because of my interest in theatre. Sistren was a group of grassroots women and because of the particular consciousness of artistic director Honour Ford-Smith, we were looking at women’s lives and the challenges they face using theatre. I found it fascinating. And it evolved from there.”
Over 20 years later, Nicholson is a bona fide pioneer of the Jamaican women’s movement, the co-founder of several important groups and the engine of WMW. She’s seen a lot of change, but it hasn’t come easy.
“It’s a good thing I didn’t know that change took so long,” she notes. “I don’t know I would have done it. But I’m getting very tired. I find it takes a lot out of me, this pioneering work. You care a lot about it, so at 5 p.m. if it’s not finished you can’t leave. So I work very, very hard.”
These days, she says, WMW is more involved in training and awareness programmes than the early work of media monitoring, lobbying and drawing attention to gender-based violence. Nicholson says there’s now far more willingness to see issues from a gender perspective and she has seen media portrayals of both women and men become far more diverse, but it’s something she’s still concerned about.
“The woman professional is still supposed to be the sexy housewife,” she notes. “The images have changed and the diversity is good. However, there continues to be a very narrow definition of ideal masculinity and femininity.”
Nicholson has to pause to ponder what may be her greatest achievement. It could be her role in founding organizations such as Sistren, WMW, Video for Change and the Centre for Gender and Development Studies. It could be the impact the work of WMW has had on shaping discussions about sexuality and violence to help make people active and not passive consumers. Then there’s the Media, Gender and Development course at the Caribbean Institute of Media and Communication – Carimac.
“I’ve had young professional women come up to me and say it changed their lives,” remarks Nicholson. “That makes it worthwhile. And when I see gender in research at the undergrad and post graduate level, that feels very good. I feel a sense of achievement that Women’s Media Watch has become what it is, but it has taken a long time. And there are still a lot of people who have no idea of the work we’ve been doing. It’s been an uphill struggle. We should be a household name by now, but we’re not. That’s a disappointment.”
Other obstacles are more entrenched. “We live in a world where profit is the main driving force. What makes money is more important than what is healthy for men, women and children,” she observes. “So that’s an obstacle, trying to balance profitability with social sensitivity and social responsibility. Another is the gender ideology in a society where a level of violence is acceptable. Violence is a part of our lives for so many years, but that is not a reason to accept it. It’s ridiculous, because it’s extremely unhealthy. Sexual violence is seen as part of this conquering, macho, male norm. And that is a great struggle for us in our work.”
Another big concern is the acceptance of transactional sex, the attitude that sex is something to be bargained that research has linked to the media. Nicholson brushes aside remarks that this kind of commodification of sex has been embraced by the very women they’re speaking out for.
“We’re not interested in people who talk about women jumping up in the dancehall when Vybz Kartel is singing ‘Tek B_ _ _ _’ and being very disrespectful,” she says. “We’re not into blaming women, because they have been socialized in this way. It’s a value system the entire society has bought into.”
There have also been significant changes in Nicholson herself. Her shyness has been left behind and she’s now much more confident.
“I have become someone who cannot work for other people,” she says. “I have to be doing my own thing. But I don’t have the confidence to do it on my own. I have to enjoy what I’m doing. Being interested in the work that I do is far more important to me than money. Which is why I’ll never be rich.”
Some time ago, she also acknowledged that she preferred the single life. “Of course there have been men in my life, but I’ve chosen to remain single. I usually fall wildly and completely in love with totally impossible people. The ones that would have made better husbands and fathers, I was usually the one ending those relationships. Maybe subliminally I wasn’t looking. Right now I’m enjoying my independence. I moved into my own apartment for the first time five years ago. I’d always shared with a friend or a group before. My mother re-married when she was 57. Maybe that’s what will happen to me.”
As for what’s next, there’s a question sign over that for Nicholson. “Sometimes I think I just want to stop and do something completely different,” she says. “I do often feel very tired and I think it’s time for me to change. I’m currently training to be a mediator. I’m thinking I might resuscitate my languages – French and Spanish – I don’t know how I’ll use them, but I might use my people skills. I haven’t done my Masters in gender because I really don’t like writing. It gives me such stress and anxiety that to me, it’s a nightmare. I used to cry every weekend as a child when I had to do an essay. If I can figure out a way to do my thesis through a workshop or video, that would be wonderful!”
Which brings us to her other day job. At least two days a week, Nicholson along with Cynthia Wilmot is Video For Change. This video production outfit has been responsible for 25 titles, including documentaries on Mary Seacole, Edna Manley and most recently, Norman Washington Manley. She says it’s a great way to stay involved in theatre and keeps her in touch with her actor friends from drama school and The Company Limited.
While she’s managed to fuse her interests and is very interested in her work with WMW, Nicholson is not averse to handing over the mantle to the next generation of champions of the cause.
“You know how some people protect their turf? That is not me. I tend to push other people to come forward and take over. I’d like to think that’s how I support others.”
Note to women
In her years in the women’s movement, Hilary Nicholson has seen and pushed for many changes that today’s young women are benefiting from without even thinking about it. Here are a few things she thinks women need to do to acknowledge the progress made.
Know your rights. I think that still as women we often don’t know what our rights are. Many young women are made to feel they are not a woman unless they have a man. It’s wonderful to have a man in your life. I’ve always felt better as a woman at the times I have a man in my life. But I still feel good as me even when I don’t have a significant other. It’s important for a woman to know who she is, and that another person doesn’t make her who she is.
Know and respect your sexual power. It’s not our job to submit in order to protect the male ego. Many of us do. Even I have. I’ve been in a situation in my 40s with a man, wanting a condom to be used and not knowing how to negotiate that. Big, professional me. We do not assume sexual power in a relationship. We do not assume we have a right to sexual gratification the way a man does. We must not give in. We have every right. But we must use this power in a positive way for ourselves and our partners and not in a way to play games with it.
Know your options. There are many fields you can get into that no-one is telling you about. I love the sea and I like drawing and biology, but nobody told me about Marine Biology. Research on gender, education and training shows that young women and men are still being pushed into traditional fields. And women are going into the lower levels of these areas. That’s very disturbing. Look around and see what you can do. See what you can be.
