Am I asking for too much
Dear RB,
I am a 17 year old who is having a bit of a problem. I am going out with a 31 year old guy. I met him through a step aunt and we have been having sex from the day after I met him. I have a special love for him, but I am feeling nothing from him in return.
I told him how I feel but he says he can’t give me what I want at the moment. We haven’t gone out for the year I’ve known him, all we do is have sex. We have spoken about it and decided that we are going to give each other a break. What do you think I should do? Am I asking for too much?
– Perplexed
Dear Perplexed,
You do not need ‘a break’ from this man, you must begin the process of trying to disconnect yourself from him immediately. You are what he would classify as a “booty call”! He is not in love with you, and your saying the words to him will not make it so. You are a child having sex with a man. Notice I did not say having a relationship with a man.
The sad thing is that you know that you are in trouble. You know this because in one year he has taken you nowhere, and to quote you, you have been having sex from the day after you met! Please consider yourself fortunate that he is willing to agree to some time apart, and use the time sensibly. Please consider establishing a relationship with someone closer to your age, who is also willing to go out and have some fun.
Depressed sister
Dear RB,
I am worried about my sister. Her baby’s father left her to raise my nephew alone and though she has a very good job and can take care of her child, she is so depressed that I fear she will try to commit suicide.
She’s beautiful and bright and very attractive, but she took the abandonment very hard and she has lost weight and is just not happy. I try to help her out with my nephew, but no matter what I do, she never seems happy and when I checked the history on the computer, I saw that she had been on all these suicide websites, as well as sites that provide the easiest ways to commit suicide. What should I do?
– Worried sister
Dear Worried Sister,
You have every right to be worried. This is quite serious. The problem is that this situation needs a one on one meeting. I would suggest that you contact your doctor or preferably your sister’s doctor immediately and tell him/her what you know of what has been happening with your sister’s depression, the thoughts of suicide and her weight loss.
Ask the doctor to recommend a course of action. The doctor might recommend a counsellor, a therapist or offer to meet and talk with your sister. Please expect your sister to resist, as she is feeling abandoned. Be gentle with her and insist. Please do this quickly as you do not have any time to spare.
You are a good sister. Good luck with this.
Need no-frills advice about relationships, sex or just about anything else? Send questions to RB Samuels c/o all woman, 42 Beechwood Ave. Kgn 5; via email to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com or fax 968-2025.
