School blues – Helping children adjust

So it’s been a week into the new school term and your child still does not seem to be coping. He’s not taking well to this new adventure called school and you fear that the wails and tantrums will continue indefinitely.

Rest assured that your tot may just be taking a longer time to adjust, a process that is quite normal.

Sue-Anne Wallace, information, education and communication co-ordinator at the Early Childhood Commission, says that adjusting can be stressful, as children try to cope with the new environment outside their comfort zone. And whether it be in the nursery, kindergarten or primary school, the holistic development of the child is one of the needs that should be addressed along with the academics.

“Be very in tune with how your child reacts,” Wallace warns parents. “Not every child is going to throw a temper tantrum. Some will become very quiet and withdrawn and these are the ones we often miss.”

So what can you do? Contrary to popular belief, just because your child is not having the expected temper tantrum does not mean that he is fine. What parents should do is take simple steps to ensure a warm environment, which can include allowing the child to take a favourite item along with him.

“Allow your child to take something from home that will make him comfortable,” Wallace says. “It will act as a kind of soother.”

Also, parents can present an enthusiastic and bubbly approach when sending the child off to school to help him develop confidence and become just as enthusiastic as they are.

But if your child is still behaving strangely, Wallace suggests spending some time with him at school.

“Make the time in the morning to see how he interacts with others, and also to see if he has any friends,” she says.

She explains that forming friendships is essential to a youngster’s development and parents can play their part too by arranging play dates.

And even though he is young and may not be able to express his concerns verbally, a good parent should be cognisant and address his child’s fears.

Wallace says that it is essential to interact with the teachers and build a good relationship for the benefit of the child. A clear indication, she said, that something may be wrong for example, is if the teacher tells you that the child sits in a corner alone, a clear sign of withdrawing.

“Most children over time will adjust, usually after a couple of weeks,” she said.

She noted that if that is still not the case, then it could be a sign that something else is wrong.

Parents should remember that school is an unfamiliar environment, so it is good to ensure routine so that the child is relaxed.

“If you tell them that you are going to pick them up at 5:00, be there at 5:00,” she advises, explaining that if you cannot make it, ensure that the pick-up is done by a familiar person.

And for the transition to be as smooth and painless as possible, teachers also have a huge role to play.

“The teacher needs to make the classroom a welcoming environment for the child,” she said.

By heeding all of these factors, the journey for all parties involved should surely be less bumpy.

“All we can do is be there for them,” said Wallace. “Talk to your children and just love them.”