Wishy-washy father denying his baby

I am a young mother of a baby girl who is almost a year old. Exactly a month after the baby was born, he came to visit and accepted that she was his and started helping me financially. A month after that he decided the baby didn’t belong to him and that he needed a paternity test, but said that I had to pay for it. I told him that I would agree to the test but he would have to pay for it as it was he who wanted it done.He then decided a week after that discussion that the baby was his again and started supporting her. But now he is back to saying she is not his. My family and friends want me to take him to court. What are my rights and what steps should I take to regularise his support? I really want my daughter to have her father in her life but I don’t want to force him to be there. If a paternity test is ordered, who should pay for it?Dear Confused Mother,Since he abandoned you after you were 20 weeks until a month after the birth, his name and particulars were obviously not included in the registration of your daughter’s birth.I agree with your family and friends that you should take him to court so that by reason of a court order he will be made to meet his obligations as a father. You can apply to the court for a paternity order and for him to contribute to the maintenance of your child under the Maintenance Act and in addition, you should claim the cost of your pre-natal care and your C-Section.When your application is being heard in court, he can make his wishes known to the court that he wants to have a paternity test done. He can also, in the course of these proceedings, request access to his child (when he has ascertained this fact), if he so wishes, and the court will grant him access in such terms as it considers best for the child.If the court makes a declaration of paternity, under the status of Children’s Act, the clerk of the court will send a copy of the declaration to the Registrar General so that it can be filed in that office. The bottom line is, his back and forth about his denial and his acceptance of paternity is his problem. If he wishes to do tests to remove all doubts from his mind he must pay for those tests. I trust that in your application for order of paternity you have supporting witnesses who can give evidence of your intimate relationship with this man at and around the period of conception. Good luck, and I hope your daughter ends up getting her true and caring father.

I am a young mother of a baby girl who is almost a year old.

Eight weeks into my pregnancy, I was told to have an abortion by the expectant father but I refused because I really wanted to have this baby as I previously thought I couldn’t have children. He eventually accepted my decision not to terminate the pregnancy until I was 20 weeks. We had a disagreement and he abandoned me for the duration of my pregnancy. I had to do a C-Section early and I paid the medical expenses. He didn’t contribute to anything at all.

Exactly a month after the baby was born, he came to visit and accepted that she was his and started helping me financially. A month after that he decided the baby didn’t belong to him and that he needed a paternity test, but said that I had to pay for it. I told him that I would agree to the test but he would have to pay for it as it was he who wanted it done.

He then decided a week after that discussion that the baby was his again and started supporting her. But now he is back to saying she is not his. My family and friends want me to take him to court. What are my rights and what steps should I take to regularise his support? I really want my daughter to have her father in her life but I don’t want to force him to be there. If a paternity test is ordered, who should pay for it?

-Confused Mother

Dear Confused Mother,

I am going to go straight into the matter as your baby’s father, though I do not know him, seems like a very irritating and indecisive person, and when it comes to the interest of a child we can all do without such a person. I am very happy that you did not bend to his wish for you to have an abortion.

No one has the right to force you in such a direction and it was good that you stuck to your own desire. However, you say he is the father of your child and if he wants a paternity test he can clearly have one to satisfy his mind but, it must be at his own expense.

Since he abandoned you after you were 20 weeks until a month after the birth, his name and particulars were obviously not included in the registration of your daughter’s birth.

I agree with your family and friends that you should take him to court so that by reason of a court order he will be made to meet his obligations as a father. You can apply to the court for a paternity order and for him to contribute to the maintenance of your child under the Maintenance Act and in addition, you should claim the cost of your pre-natal care and your C-Section.

When your application is being heard in court, he can make his wishes known to the court that he wants to have a paternity test done. He can also, in the course of these proceedings, request access to his child (when he has ascertained this fact), if he so wishes, and the court will grant him access in such terms as it considers best for the child.

If the court makes a declaration of paternity, under the status of Children’s Act, the clerk of the court will send a copy of the declaration to the Registrar General so that it can be filed in that office. The bottom line is, his back and forth about his denial and his acceptance of paternity is his problem. If he wishes to do tests to remove all doubts from his mind he must pay for those tests. I trust that in your application for order of paternity you have supporting witnesses who can give evidence of your intimate relationship with this man at and around the period of conception. Good luck, and I hope your daughter ends up getting her true and caring father.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law and a Women’s and Children’s Rights Advocate. Send questions and comments via email to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com or fax to 968-2025. We regret we cannot supply personal answers.