Internet buddy just wants sex
Dear RB,
I met a nice man on the Internet, but all he wants to talk about is sex all the time. We have been talking for about two months and he is planning to visit Jamaica next month, but I still know nothing about him.
Whenever we talk, the argument goes directly to sex and it’s a turn off. What is a good way to get him to talk about other things? He is really good looking and has a good job, his only fault is his dirty mouth.
– Internet girlfriend.
Dear Internet girlfriend,
Congratulations on taking the bull by the horn and really looking everywhere for a boyfriend. But just remember that you have to be as much of a realist on the Internet, as you would be otherwise.
Let me ask you, if you were sitting next to a guy for two months at the office, and the only thing you could get him to do was talk dirty about sex, would he have a chance with you, and second would you expect him to want anything else from you besides sex?
I think not. Be warned. This man has found an exotic Caribbean woman with whom he plans to have sex for seven days and six nights. You have to decide whether or not you will oblige. Do not forget that despite your efforts to change the subject and despite the fact that you have made it clear to him that sex-all-the-time is a turn-off, he persists on the topic. To me he is making it plain and simple for you to understand. Pay attention.
Second chance?
Dear RB,
A few years ago I was involved with this guy who would blame me for making him backslide and accuse me of making him go against his religion and have sex outside marriage. This is despite the fact that he is the one who always initiated sexual contact.
We broke up, and he started talking to his ex girlfriend’s best friend. They got married and we lost touch. Now he is back in Jamaica after getting a divorce, and he’s trying to be with me again.
Though I’m single, I still have a bad taste in my mouth about what he did and said, and I still think he was a jerk for dating his ex’s friend. Otherwise, he’s a nice guy who would make a decent boyfriend. How can I forget what happened, and should I give him a chance?
– Considering a second chance
Dear Considering a second chance,
I do not understand you! After what you said about how this man treated you, his inappropriate behaviour, and that in your mind he is a jerk who leaves a bad taste in your mouth, what about him would make a decent boyfriend? What does a man need to do to convince you that he will make a terrible boyfriend? Look missy, if you are thinking of having sex with this man, then say that to yourself and proceed accordingly.
This is not about forgetting what this man did to you or giving him a second chance. You are way past that and you know it. Please do not make out that you and he are doing anything else besides having sex, same as you were before. This time though, you know who he is and you have been forewarned. Make sure that you do not even think of blaming him if/when the liaison sours.
Need no-frills advice about relationships, sex or just about anything else? Send questions to RB Samuels c/o all woman, 42 Beechwood Ave Kgn 5; via email to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com or fax 968-2025. We’re sorry, but RB cannot provide personal responses.