Only a mother’s love

LIKE many people, I am fascinated with babies. No, I don’t have one of my own as yet, but they are so cute and cuddly, I can’t help but notice. Exclude the frequent pooping and puking, they have the biggest brightest pupils and they are so innocent.

But we have to admit, the painful obvious that not all babies are cute. And while this ‘lack of cuteness’ may disappear with age, and they may blossom into pretty/handsome people, the fact is that while they are babies, apart from the few liars who will commend you on how cute your child is, chances are, only the mother will see this beauty.

When Louise Bennett, in her poem, New Scholar declared, “Ugly baby grow pretty fi true, For dis one was a sight”, it further supports the notion that there are indeed ugly babies, but if they are lucky enough, they may ‘grow it out’. Although, I must admit that not all cute babies grow just as beautiful or handsome. Somehow, some lose this feature with age and as they get older, it gets worse.

But back to the issue at hand. I’m sure many of us have witnessed a mother and a child with the mother behaving as if she has the most beautiful child in the world (even if this is not the case). This is why if your mother seriously tells you that you are ugly, believe it.

When my sister gave birth to my nephew in 2000, I was more than anxious to visit him before he got out of the hospital after having to spend an extra two weeks, due to illness. I walked proudly behind her, passing many cute babies, wondering when she would have stopped. But when she stopped and I viewed the child, my first response, though not intentional, was, “Terry, that is not a cute child.” She later admitted it (years after he began to ‘bloom’) but at the time, she did not care, and that is what I liked about her response. As long as a mother can look at her child and see beauty, then who cares what others think?

The same goes for my neighbour when she had her second child. She looks back today at her three girls at birth and concludes that the first was not as cute as the others, but I had to set her straight. Abigail, the second, child, reminded me of an English Bulldog. This was the reason I nicknamed her ‘Fat-face’. At the time, I made sure to explain to the parents why she got the name. And though they laughed, they never got offended at the comment. Now, my nephew and Abby have blossomed beautifully. And unless you are shown their baby photos, you would have no idea they were ugly babies.

But let’s shift the focus to the dads.

Though many fathers are not as active in their children’s life, I must say, that there are indeed many who cling to their children like glue. While walking through Spanish Town one day, I saw a man pushing his baby in a stroller. As he passed me, I asked, “You want to give her to me?” His response was, “Shi come wit a package”.

I laughed and continued my journey, since the package was not at all inviting. She was chubby, I could see myself holding her, but never to keep. Another time I asked a man for his baby. His response was as if I was prying the child from his hands, since he proceeded to cling to the child before he told me, “No, yuh mad?” We laughed it off. But once again, the baby wasn’t even cute. But that’s the good thing.

While mothers and fathers all over the world give their child away for various reasons everyday, some with no other choice, it’s good to know that there are parents, who inspite of whatever challenge they may face, are unwilling to give up their child/ren. And though there may be some with disabilities, some simply … not cute, the mere fact that the parents are around to show love and support promotes strong self-esteem in the child.